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Open Poetry #15
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Questioning Heart
| Open Poetry #15 |
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Questioning Heart |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
What would you say If in this one moment I opened my heart up to you Would you laugh at the fool Who would give up his freedom Just to know you cared too? What would you do If in this one moment I asked for your honesty now To tell me what you saw Between our two lives And was I in the future some how? What would your answer Tell of my fears Of not measuring up to your needs Would it speak to me tender And make me feel blessed Or would it just cut me off At the knees? What would you say If asked in this moment How lovers we could become Would you scoff at my words And tell me I was crazy That all of the questions were dumb How can I ask you Without seeming scared Or foolish in any way And if I asked you And listen you did, I wonder just what you’d say |
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| © Copyright 2001 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Don't we always feel that way just before something inconsequential like asking a woman for a dance up to and inlcuding a marriage proposal? Well writ my friend. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Thank you sir!! |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
 those are very familiar feelings my friend...I enjoyed!~Krista |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Thanks Ma'am... glad you enjoyed! |
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Flutterwings Member
since 2001-07-10
Posts 288Maine |
Well if you asked me.?. I would have to respond in the affirmative. Because my friend this voice is sincere, honest and full of truth..... so.. with that said. I applaud  a great write. Great rhythm and rhyme...  ((~.~)) |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
my oh my the insecurities of humanness...well done Cpat! I can really relate all too well. |
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Snow
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170desert flower looking for rain |
wow, what a timely read this was for me. this was felt so deeply... and I love how it was written in such an honest and open voice. well done! snow "Trace my body with your words |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
"Would you laugh at the fool who would give up his freedom." I have a problem determining the right time to open up...usually I am too honest and give to much to quick...when they would rather have a challenge...James |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
If you were to ask that someone just as this is written, I would imagine you would be having to take a rag to damp up the melting being done at the fact that someone could be this romantic, and mean every single word... but then, this is a poem...and a hypothetical one at that.... well done, Sir.... |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Very sweetly spoken question. I hope the answer would be yes. Sandra |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Cpat--I like the innocence of the questioner...and the honest self doubt. So many times people don't speak up for fear of rejection...and miss something important. Enjoyed the poem, by the way. |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Ron: first thing that grabbed me, superficially, was to see a lengthier write from you -- good to see you experimenting with other forms. Second thing, was the subtle rhyme-scheme which somehow contributed to the honest voice. Third thing -- I could relate to the subject and agree with the other comments here that it is presented in a very honest voice which inspires me to say: honesty over fear; action vs. regret. Good expression, my friend. -MVS "When you tell the Truth, you never have to remember what you just said." |
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shadow974 Senior Member
since 2001-06-21
Posts 636Michigan |
Excellent poem, I know that fear all to well,But a question asked in such a way as this, how could the answer be anything but Yes? Do not fear going forward slowly, |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Words for the sensitive heart to ponder... *smiles* ~Tier |
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ThUnDeRkYsS Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727Wisconsin |
Quite funny what these feelings can do to us, feasting on the questions for days... thinking of every possible answer and how you would feel, then getting that knot the size of one that holds the Queen Mary to her docks when you finally spit it out and try not to have a panic attack waiting for some kind of a response. So much fun, isnt it?? LOL Very good depiction of these feelings  Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer. |
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