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Open Poetry #15
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VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2001-07-19 01:17 PM


Oh, This Summer Day
Virginia Salter

rumble
grumble
sound waves tumble

nagging me to work

airplanes up
mowers down
dustmen running

all ‘round town

breeze is fanning
summer air
you’d think I’d surely

be out there

getting licks in
very early
while the sky’s not

feeling surly

oh, awright
I’ll get off my duff
come away

though awf’ly tough


© July 18, 2001

© Copyright 2001 Virginia Salter - All Rights Reserved
MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
1 posted 2001-07-19 05:56 PM


I really liked the cadence and rhyme with this visual piece -- especially the opening lines.  A fun read with thoughts on daily life worth living...

-MVS

"When you tell the Truth, you never have to remember what you just said."
--Del Casher

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2001-07-19 05:58 PM


Yes.. nice use of sound and cadence to convey the day... I liked this VAS


SmittenKitten
Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131
where the sky and horizon meet
3 posted 2001-07-19 06:00 PM


hehe, somedays it is hard to get going!
You have captured those days perfectly with this poem  
Great write!
~Krista     


"Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you.
And all you can do is to go where they can find you."
~Winnie the Pooh

[This message has been edited by SmittenKitten (edited 07-19-2001).]

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
4 posted 2001-07-19 06:51 PM


heh heh heh thank you all, it's always hard to get going when it's yard work versus computer play, composition, communication. But, I like yard work better than house work, at least in the summer.

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