navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #15 » Caress by Night
Open Poetry #15
Post A Reply Post New Topic Caress by Night Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA

0 posted 2001-07-19 09:54 AM


The blackness closing in
And I can feel
The sweetest sense of sorrow
And I know it’s real
As I lay here with you
Like serpents entwined
The light fades from us
And leaves the world behind
It never seems to be healed,
This wound inside of me
Even the sanctuary of night
Keeps taunting me
I used to be of the type;
Patient, and open to this
Now time is running out
With my lover,
In the cool darkness



© Copyright 2001 J.M. Landry - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2001-07-19 09:56 AM


haunting feel to this...I enjoyed the way it captured the movement of time... passing...
slowly..surely...

good write!

Lady In White
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
2 posted 2001-07-19 09:58 AM



Yes, this wraps very well around loss of what is to come, still trying to revive and keep warm, but all the while, sensing loss through fingers still reaching...

well done PK!  It's been a while!  Good to see you've come home!

More, please?

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
3 posted 2001-07-19 10:04 AM


"Like serpents entwined
The light fades from us
And leaves the world behind
It never seems to be healed,
This wound inside of me"

I know I always say this about your poetry, but it fits   WOW! You always pack such an emotional punch. Good to see you posting again  

"Four be the things I'd been better without: Love, curiosity, freckles and doubt."
-- Dorothy Parker, on herself

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2001-07-19 10:06 AM


The blackness closing in
And I can feel
The sweetest sense of sorrow
And I know it’s real
As I lay here with you
Like serpents entwined
The light fades from us
And leaves the world behind
It never seems to be healed,
This wound inside of me
Even the sanctuary of night
Keeps taunting me
===============================

Beautiful, haunting, aching, write PK
The longing and angst rise off the page.
Nice to see your name and words here this morn
jm

When your own emptiness is all thats getting through
There comes a point when youre not sure why youre still talking
I passed that point long ago

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
5 posted 2001-07-19 10:14 AM


oh, my
and why do we have to sense loss
even in the middle of a soothing situation


do see some grammatical errors, but then we all do that now and then, just need to fix em before seeking publication


PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA
6 posted 2001-07-19 10:14 AM


Thank you guys. I know I've been away for awhile. I'm in a weird place in my life right now, forgive me.
1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
7 posted 2001-07-19 02:46 PM


PK...powerful poetry...never easy letting go is it?...welcome home...your words were missed here...helen
PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA
8 posted 2001-07-19 02:59 PM


Thank you Helen.
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
9 posted 2001-07-19 04:48 PM


Nice portrayal of your feelings...James
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #15 » Caress by Night

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary