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Open Poetry #15
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ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727
Wisconsin

0 posted 2001-07-19 01:03 AM



Repetition
Entangles me
Seems to show no mercy
Contradiction
Will strangle me
Mental controversy

Instigation
Admires me
Pry’s with explosive force
Destination
Hides far from me
Disguising proper course

Indecision
Bewilders me
Won’t let me choose a path
Criticism
Distracting me
Confused as others laugh

Unconsciousness
Becomes of me
Too tired to go on
Exhaustedness
Now sets me free...
Until I wake at dawn.

Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer.



© Copyright 2001 B.J.Howe - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
1 posted 2001-07-19 02:57 AM


ThUnDeRkYsS~
This is so nicely done.
The flow is evident and the thoughts deliver a punch.
I enjoyed it.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                                 noles1@totcon.com              

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2001-07-19 09:11 AM


wow.....
this is soooo good.  
"Criticism
Distracting me
Confused as others laugh"

I totally understand this.

~SEA

"Four be the things I'd been better without: Love, curiosity, freckles and doubt."
-- Dorothy Parker, on herself

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2001-07-19 09:17 AM


nicely said and executed....

Enjoyed the read, and you captured well the feeling..

a pleasure to read


MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
4 posted 2001-07-19 02:43 PM


INCREDIBLY tight form!!  First of all, I'm very impressed with the structure, rhyme scheme, and syllable count.  Secondly, I can relate to the theme.  This is very well done.

-MVS

"When you tell the Truth, you never have to remember what you just said."
--Del Casher

ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727
Wisconsin
5 posted 2001-07-19 05:40 PM


Marge ~ Thank you, glad you enjoyed it.

SEA ~ Funny how many of us can relate to this, isnt it?  Thank you  

Cpat ~ Thank you for your kind words.

Mark ~ Thank you, I like making up my own forms and stanza structure, this is a new one for me, glad you can appreciate it... and the message  

Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer.



Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
6 posted 2001-07-20 09:55 PM


I know that whatever it is, you can  get through it sweetie.  It sure is a feeling we have all had at once time or another.  Sorry I keep missing you!  We'll catch up soon, ok?  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727
Wisconsin
7 posted 2001-07-23 01:05 AM


Lone Wolf ~ Thanks babe    Yes, I think we all have it at some time or another, or many times for that matter    Yes, we will hopefully catch up soon.  {{{{{{{{HUGZ}}}}}}}}

Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer.



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