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Open Poetry #15
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ShadowRider
Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038
USA

0 posted 2001-07-17 08:45 PM


After the Coolness

Patches of colors spill
overturned across our skies
Stalks of goldenrod, keeping time
Bodies spliced
shining like wet pebbles
sprayed by tidal mists
We come to radiate together in unison
Our finest days wane in fanfare

After the Coolness
we lay spun
wound tightly as two spools
inebriated by our storm
Lips thinly bend in thundering throes
We write our canticles with flickering dares
As you lightly dust off my pollen
we return our dance to the hive;
I thank Destiny for the gift of you
and I brim with life.

© Copyright 2001 Picasso Lyrics - All Rights Reserved
snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
1 posted 2001-07-17 09:03 PM


'inebriated by our storm'

Ohhh, I like this a lot...fantastic imagery, shadowrider...great write!

sp  

it was love that first drew me,
it is love that will keep me here...
now I see love burning brightly
when everything else is unclear...

Lighthousebob
Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725
California
2 posted 2001-07-18 05:29 PM


I love your words that you use in this poem.... very choice and descriptive.  The natural beauty blended with the forcefulness of passion in each line is exquisite.   Enjoyed reading your poem very much.
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2001-07-18 05:43 PM


Excellent!!
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
4 posted 2001-07-18 07:40 PM


I like this. . . after the passion. . .

well done. . .

--------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

A Tone of Voice
Member
since 2001-07-18
Posts 287

5 posted 2001-07-18 09:24 PM


I like the way you play with words, and the rhythm creates it's own special melody,

*S* lovely,


A Tone of Voice~!

ShadowRider
Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038
USA
6 posted 2001-07-22 09:18 PM


Dear Ms. Snowpants:  Pleased as punch you enjoyed the
imagery and flow of this!  Awful nice of you to say so,
so I offer sincere thanks you's!

Hey LH-Bob!  Thanks for the read, and the comments.
Definitely put a smile on these kiss-proof lips!  hahaha
Love using unique words; always searching for something
that hasn't been used and abused before.

Cpat Hair:  Why thank you, for saying so!  Muchos
gracias!

Sven:  Greatly appreciate your review, Sven.  Super
place here.  Many kudo's are in order for the way
this ship is run.  Have a great weekend, and thank you!

Tone of Voice:  Hmmm doo like that name.  I really do
perhaps overdo the double-entendre's and plays on
words, but what the hey!  You really think it worked out
here?  hope so, and Best of luck to you, too, fellow
newbie!  smile

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