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Open Poetry #15
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Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA

0 posted 2001-07-16 08:03 PM


I once fell from grace
Out of your loving embrace
Landing upon the jagged rock
When my heart suddenly locked

No one knew exactly why
I spent hours where I’d cry
They knew not of the scars
From the cruel prison bars

They didn’t know of me
Desiring at last to be free
Take me away from myself
Destroy my wooden shelf

I sat on it for years
Because of all my fears
Afraid to venture out
Filled with much self doubt

You planted the seed inside
Then you made me hide
Away from the warm sun
With an emotional gun

I longed to see the moon
Outside my little cocoon
Wishing with all my heart
That I wouldn’t fall apart

I had to try and save
The real me from the cave
Where I had holed up
My soul afraid to sup

One day I let go
You didn’t even know
Too wrapped up life
Ignoring ongoing strife

I couldn’t try any more
To open your heart’s door
So I finally gave in
Letting defeat win


All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

© Copyright 2001 Jennifer L. Garcia - All Rights Reserved
Logan
Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641
Arkansas
1 posted 2001-07-16 08:10 PM


So I finally gave in
Letting defeat win

No, LW, very gentle smile..you just needed to rest on the pathway for awhile..Your strength will not accept defeat, only a crossroad on the path that you will keep.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

2 posted 2001-07-16 08:14 PM


WE CAN'T GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"It's easier to kill love than to nurture it" Fred Hardesty

Kathleen

Zinsser
Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641
Calif.
3 posted 2001-07-16 08:15 PM


LoneWolf   This is a beautiful piece... I can relate all to well....I hope it's just a poem and not life right now but there is too much emotion here so
  ((((((hugs to you)))))

           Thank You
         ~~~Connie~~~

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
4 posted 2001-07-16 08:26 PM


This was so very well written and you portrayed such hauntingly sad images with your words.  Take care.....Sue

Suetang

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
5 posted 2001-07-16 11:53 PM


Nicely expressed emotions, LW...I enjoyed this read...great write...

sp  

it was love that first drew me,
it is love that will keep me here...
now I see love burning brightly
when everything else is unclear...

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2001-07-17 02:54 AM


LoneWolf~
You have traveled so far beyond any wall
that may have tried to contain your spirit~
You soar in victory~

Very moving piece~
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                                 noles1@totcon.com              

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

7 posted 2001-07-17 07:54 AM


nicely written... but agree with Logan
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
8 posted 2001-07-17 08:50 AM



LoneWolf-
   This is such a beautiful and emotional write.
   You've expressed these feelings well.  

   big hugs,
   ~vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes



Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
9 posted 2001-07-17 10:08 AM


There is no defeat in winnning ... and you won!
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

10 posted 2001-07-17 02:22 PM


Ah LW, there is never defeat when we believe in ourselves and our confictions.  I can really relate to this right now.  Thanks for the read.  *s*

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

Matrix69
New Member
since 2001-07-17
Posts 1

11 posted 2001-07-17 03:47 PM


This is My first post here at pip but it will definatly not be my last, thanks for the poem.. keep writing, it was very good. But never give up... Take care!
walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
12 posted 2001-07-17 05:45 PM


Great expression of feelings, sometimes we all feel that way, but by writing about these negative feelings we conquer them.
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
13 posted 2001-07-17 06:06 PM


some extremely powerful lines

too too sad, though, I'll get in line with Logan, too


Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
14 posted 2001-07-17 08:05 PM


Logan: Yes, I need to rest.  The road is long and hard.  Thank you for your words, they mean a lot.  

Kathleen: NEVER!!!!!!!!!

Zinsser: I'm sorry you relate.  Just a pondering here, no need to worry.  Thanks and (((((hugs to you)))))

Sue: Thanks much.

sp: Glad you enjoyed, thanks for stopping by.

Marge: You are right about that.  My spirit is free.  

Cpat: Thanks, and Logan is very wise.

Vicky: I try to do my best.  Thank you!

Interloper:  

Gentle Spirit: I believe in me and I know everything will be just fine.  Sorry you late.  You're welcome, my friend.

Matrix69: I am honored by your reply.  I hope you stick around for more.  There are many talented poets here.  I'll never give up, I can tell you that!  Welcome to our circle of friends.  

walker: Writing is therapy, I believe that with all my heart.  Negative feelings need an outlet just like positive feelings.  Writing provides that outlet for those who are wise enough to utilize it's powers.  Thank you!

VAS: Aw, not too sad.  Cleansing and refreshing.  Look at it that way.

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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