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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2001-07-16 02:29 PM

I'd like to leave the world behind
for just one afternoon
rest my head upon your lap
and gaze upon a daytime moon
I'd need no fire from the sun
to make a moonbeam come to play
Just this light that shines within--
the love reflected in your gaze.
You, my love, would rival Sol
and every temple hewn of gold
would diminish next to you
and shake in shame for want of hue.

Just one daytime memory
just one moon would set me free...
a photograph to keep in mind
would feed my soul, till end of time.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2001-07-16 02:32 PM

Well now that sounds like an afternoon to remember indeed for the right person..

nicely done.. loved the imagery and the idea... always a pleasure..

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

2 posted 2001-07-16 02:39 PM

Is that where to title "Afternoon Delight" came from

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

3 posted 2001-07-16 02:40 PM

and every temple hewn of gold
would diminish next to you
and shake in shame for want of hue.

Don't wish, do this. Seize the moment.
beautiful images, Seren.

"Here I am in prison,here I am with a ball and chain There is whiskey in the jar-o" Traditional irish song.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

4 posted 2001-07-16 03:17 PM

Serenity~
Just look at you girly-girl~
You done caught the shine~
Sparkling you are !
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

5 posted 2001-07-16 04:13 PM

But..does this mean I have to be lonely in the daytime too??
Love this, moon girl that I am.
Sandra

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

6 posted 2001-07-16 06:32 PM

*sigh*

could you send me one of those my friend??

love this one. . .so dreamy and sliken. . .

-----------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

7 posted 2001-07-16 10:06 PM

Yanno..This sounds just perfect to me. I love this!

Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

8 posted 2001-07-16 10:09 PM

And this poem is the epitome of *serenity*

I really, really like this!

Melissa~

Logan
Senior Member

since 2001-05-28

Posts 1641
Arkansas

9 posted 2001-07-16 10:14 PM

I'd like to leave the world behind
for just one afternoon

Ahh, Serenity, very gentle smile, how many of us would love to do just that..just leave the world behind for just one afternoon..very good write and loved the imagery

Mike
Member Elite

since 1999-06-19

Posts 2462

10 posted 2001-07-16 10:27 PM

If one would leave the world behind,
...for just a daytime hour,
and gaze upon your gentle grace,
...would gaze on moonlit flower.

sorry, couldn't help myself after reading your wonderful poetry.

Saunni
Senior Member

since 2000-07-11

Posts 1777
West Virginia

11 posted 2001-07-16 10:51 PM

Serenity, this is really beautiful! It truly is!

Sauni

Sauni :)
Have you ever known the color grey when the nighttime finds you weak
I have, I've walked that road each time; that's where my angel sleeps

snowpants
Member Elite

since 2000-09-16

Posts 2061
KS

12 posted 2001-07-16 11:34 PM

'and every temple hewn of gold
would diminish next to you
and shake in shame for want of hue.'

The whole write is fantastic, but these lines in particular stood out to me...this is exactly how I've been trying to write lately, but it doesn't read quite as nicely as yours...excellent write, though...I truly love it!

sp

it was love that first drew me,
it is love that will keep me here...
now I see love burning brightly
when everything else is unclear...

CocoBaci
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 3043

13 posted 2001-07-17 01:01 AM

O la la this is sooooooooooooo romantic & dreamy & ummmm GREAT!!!

I luved it sweetie as I raise my hand and hi5 ya

Hugs2uAlways
*~coco~*

MyEnchanted_Melody
Senior Member

since 2001-05-30

Posts 1106
across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be.

14 posted 2001-07-17 05:04 AM

I'd like to leave the world behind
for just one afternoon
rest my head upon your lap
and gaze upon a daytime moon
=================

Dear Serenity......as always a lovely soft write......

I have felt this way at times....the need to forget the world and just rest my head on someone's lap.....

Thank you
**********************

It's only me.......only me
I hope that would suffice eternally

{{to cross a sea of wonder, and hold close at heart all dreams}}

[This message has been edited by MyEnchanted_Melody (edited 07-17-2001).]

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant

since 2000-06-17

Posts 5546
missouri

15 posted 2001-07-17 05:08 AM

MMMMMm yep I know the feeling.....great write girl!

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

16 posted 2001-07-17 07:05 AM

very smooth writing serenity...*s

from one who loves the moon in the day or night.

~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

17 posted 2001-07-17 12:41 PM

Wow...I wasn't quite expecting this much response, but thank you all, it's a nice surprise! And I've kind of got this "thing" about daytime moon, so if this pops up as a theme, forgive me, as I DO tend to obsess sometimes...(obsess? WHO? Moi? NOOOOO....)
(serenity exits, arguing among herselves...)

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