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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2001-07-14 05:36 PM


Suspicious

how long now
has this suspicion
lingered

~ crumbling foundations ~

when must one first
learn to mistrust
one’s own

~ self ~

how was it that no
traces were
found, till now

~ destroying beliefs ~

its presence
becoming habit
on itself,
not by invitation

~ slivering pleasures ~

fingering
its way in, swathing
thoughts like a ragged
loiterer

~ casting shadows with caliginous treacle ~

taking up an alleyway
like a scrawny, flea
infested cat,
begging sustenance
off me

~ wondering where the pain will center ~

then becoming bolder
and not begging at
all, but stealing
away what was
once mine

~ my inner feelings now exposed ~

leaving only suspicion
of what it could be
as it darts
like that alley cat
hiding behind
nuances of levels,
sinews
and bone

“a suspicious showing”
on the inside out
film, opaque
but still me

suspiciously,
with a verdict
all its own.

©Karilea Rilling Jungel
14 July 2001



© Copyright 2001 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
1 posted 2001-07-14 05:50 PM


Coincidental timing regarding similar topic matters... :-)  Seems inevitable that suspicions arise when honesty and communication demise.  Thought-provoking write with strong images.

-MVS

"If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn."

"Everyone can hear;  few can listen."

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2001-07-14 06:43 PM


all, but stealing
away what was
once mine


~ my inner feelings now exposed ~

leaving only suspicion
of what it could be
as it darts
like that alley cat
hiding behind
nuances of levels,
sinews
and bone

“a suspicious showing”
on the inside out
film, opaque
but still me

suspiciously,
with a verdict
all its own.
========================

indeed...it eats a hole in ones soul...
this is very stark and raw...
written with a impact due to the well chosen vocabulary and images to create in words the way this feels...
too bad we must ever know it to write of it.
well done poetess sun

Feels like Im dancing with truth and wisdom
Precious rhythm you are my guide
These days are sacred, my heart is humble
Oh warrior show me the light

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
3 posted 2001-07-14 07:47 PM


This made me so sad Karilea that someone would even feel this way, so therefore it is certainly a wonderful poem when it gets you in the gut! The choice of wording worked big time! Kudos!

~If you have a choice to sit down or dance, I hope that you dance~

walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
4 posted 2001-07-14 07:55 PM


Sunshine, well done, great poem.
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
5 posted 2001-07-14 07:59 PM



Karilea-
   Wow...very sad and powerful write!
   Well done!  

   hugs,
   ~vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes



Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

6 posted 2001-07-14 08:30 PM


suspicion kills faith and kills friendships and must always be viewed as the enemy, except during survival, and what did I just say?  Just a rambling rose here....


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2001-07-14 09:50 PM



Aha...if any of you come back to read for a response....

see "insidious disease" then go and read again....

does that change the entire thought process?

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
8 posted 2001-07-15 11:38 AM


Sunshine, you do weave well, captivatingly well.  The style here, the way you weave in and out fits the dealing with suspicion IMHO. Your later response and suggestion...is insidious disease another poem, or do you mean read about it in some reference resource?


catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
9 posted 2001-07-15 12:49 PM


And as the once King of Rock and Roll said "We can't go on together, with suspicious minds.."
Love the way you wrote this, and it will always sneak in so insidiously it seems, until suddenly it is forced out into obviousness.
Sandra

Zinsser
Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641
Calif.
10 posted 2001-07-15 09:39 PM


Sunshine.... This is very good.... Oh how I can relate to this topic....The pain of becoming....and the pain of healing... does it realy ever heal up...  Hmmm
Lack of communication... Fear of revieling who you really are.....

           Thank You
         ~~~Connie~~~

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
11 posted 2001-07-15 11:13 PM


Sunshine--A different feel from you with this..so dark and untrusting...and then..so many sides steal us and then shake us and let us go.  Hugs to you sweets.  You wrote this so well, it scared me.
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