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Open Poetry #15
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The tortoise
| Open Poetry #15 |
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The tortoise |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland 
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The tortoise is barely noticed, Its motion as subtle as a new-born's breath. Resting at the top of the page, curious eyes come chalking their thoughts then leave for the flowers and kittens just over the horizon. "I am not beautiful" thinks the tortoise, but I am, I am myself as close to the truth as any fiction allows." The tortoise awaits the learned ones, those who yearn to dig deep, strip off the shell and look inside, seeing beauty to behold more truthful than all the hall marked lies. It is a not simple beast, This it will admit, Sometimes it begs for you to read the lines across its face and then just sit absorb and think. Such is the joys of its nature. It is a thing for the keen eye, A subtle sigh not-contrived. The tortoise was kicked upon its back, crushed by the flood of frenzied frivolity. It gasped its knowing breath, accepted the harshness of a deaf world then in the archive shadows it expired. "Here I am in prison,here I am with a ball and chain There is whiskey in the jar-o" Traditional irish song. |
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| © Copyright 2001 brian madden - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
Thanks for giving my tortoise a little push back to it's minimal time of glory...... I think that I get the gest of your poem and I admit at times flattery can go a long way even though tortoises aren't as cuddlesome as some of the others. Thanks for the thought. -Bob |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Brian, That's why the tortoise lives so long. Enjoyed |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
this is wonderfully woven and presented, yes there is much more here than the tortoise and its plight tortoises are very beautiful in and of themselves...I'd like one if it were not better for them to live in their habitats 4 cats that cuddle and sneeze my nose are to whom I belong, on this plane anyway and there are two-legged tortoises that we just might not get to know because we don't know how soft and beautiful they are inside |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
brian...I enjoyed this interesting poem..and VAS...I think the 2 legged kind are endangered. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Good writing, Brian, very effective imagery here, a most unusual subject too. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
few things are sadder than a tortoise on its back...the height of frustration and helplessness.... excellent images, brian... |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Bob, interesting take on the poem, I agree with your points. Tortoises are not always the warmest of creatures but they have words of wisdom. They deserve to live long, as long as all the other things. Thanks for your reply, and for being the first to greet my tortoise. Seymour, true I guess he is remembered. THanks. Virginia, Guilty of metaphors again  . WOW 4 cats, we have 3 ourselves. THanks for your wonderful comments.Martie, I think we should start a campaign to save the two legged ones. thanks. Kathleen, THanks. Balladeer, I agree. THank you sir. "Here I am in prison,here I am with a ball and chain There is whiskey in the jar-o" Traditional irish song. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Once again you draw me images as only a storyteller will, leading me here, there, with thoughts that unwind, then snap me back in.... the only turtle I won't go near is a snapper.... good job Bri... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Ahhh poetic prince of metaphors...once again you make me think and read between the lines...and the turtle tis not the only one with wisdom...you penned some of your own across your shell  very cool...clever employ of both imagery and metaphor. later-Bri-gator eve Feels like Im dancing with truth and wisdom |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I too totally enjoyed your imagery and use of metaphors Brian, this poem drew me in and I was forced to re-read to see what you were hiding in there too! Excellent work and now I want to read more of yours, thank you. ~If you have a choice to sit down or dance, I hope that you dance~ |
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