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Open Poetry #15
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SmittenKitten
Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131
where the sky and horizon meet

0 posted 2001-07-13 12:39 PM


Again he has gone.
And I cry for this love
That brings with it so much pain
And I welcome the rain.

Again he has gone.
And I wish for the end
Making my heart fill with shame
And I welcome the rain.

Again he has gone.
And all is returned
So that it all seems in vain
And I welcome the rain.

Again he has gone.
Perhaps for the last time
And my body feels the strain
As I welcome the rain.

© Copyright 2001 Krista C. - All Rights Reserved
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
1 posted 2001-07-13 12:57 PM


oh, there's seems to be so very much between the lines...it seems your heart needs comfort as well as your words saying you want the cleansing of the rain, the washing away of sorrow and pain
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2001-07-13 08:54 AM


painful emotions in this..well presented..

good write

SmittenKitten
Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131
where the sky and horizon meet
3 posted 2001-07-13 11:58 AM


VAS ~ thank you for understanding...you are very insightful.

Cpat ~ I don't usually do poems like this but my mood at the time called for it!  

Thank you both for reading and commenting  

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
4 posted 2001-07-13 03:24 PM


I think the most painful part in all this is the word "again", implying that cycles are being repeated...  Perhaps the sun or wind should be welcomed this time...?  A heart-felt write, Krista.

-MVS

"If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn."

"Everyone can hear;  few can listen."

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
5 posted 2001-07-14 11:33 AM


the rain washes all away. . . for the last time. . .

I liked the repeated phrases in this poem. . . gave the reader the idea that this has happened before, but that it would not happen again, that the rain would take it all away. . . and bring the sun. . .

great job with this. . .  

------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

SmittenKitten
Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131
where the sky and horizon meet
6 posted 2001-07-14 04:27 PM


Mark ~ exactly Mark, it is the repetition that I wished to emphasize.  Thank you for your insightful comments and read  

Sven ~ that is a good way of looking at it.  It is open to interpretation of course.  I'm not sure at the time if I was as optimistic  

Mishtheelf
Member
since 2001-07-10
Posts 68

7 posted 2001-07-19 06:22 PM


The state of your smittenness is difficult to dispute with these strong words.  I strongly hope that such an intelligent and talented person can find a happier love in the not-too-distant future.
*hugs*

Teddy

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2001-07-19 06:31 PM


Sad but good when you can come to the place where you want no more pain or nonsence and can prepare yourself to move on...James
walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
9 posted 2001-07-19 07:39 PM


Beautifully written!
SmittenKitten
Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131
where the sky and horizon meet
10 posted 2001-07-19 11:19 PM


Teddy ~  awww thank you, that is a very kind thing to say!  
Hugs back  

James ~ exactly...it took me a long time to get here...and I haven't even taken the final step yet if you know what I mean...but I'm prepared now at least!  I think...
hehe, thank you for your comments and read     much appreciated.

Walker ~ thank you!     

[This message has been edited by SmittenKitten (edited 07-19-2001).]

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