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Open Poetry #15
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Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA

0 posted 2001-07-12 09:25 PM


Once upon a time
Words full of rhyme
Flowed from my pen
Reflecting where I've been

They covered the page
Releasing the cage
Where I was trapped
When my strength was sapped

I longed to be
Once again free
To soar the sky
Like the eagles fly

Protect me my friend
Help my wings to mend
Through grace I'm healed
As our bond is sealed

The road had been long
Changing life's sweet song
There's a prominent new theme
That echoes through my dreams

Its cadence is ingrained
In each and every quatrain
That I now shall write
As this eagle takes to flight




All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

[This message has been edited by Lone Wolf (edited 07-12-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Jennifer L. Garcia - All Rights Reserved
snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
1 posted 2001-07-12 09:33 PM


Great work, LW...your cadence is just perfect!  Love this...

sp  

it was love that first drew me,
it is love that will keep me here...
now I see love burning brightly
when everything else is unclear...

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
2 posted 2001-07-12 09:36 PM


rhythmic and exciting of message as well


uh, speaking of cadence...I don't think you need the word 'to' in the last line...what do you think?

[This message has been edited by VAS (edited 07-12-2001).]

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
3 posted 2001-07-12 10:13 PM


Beautifully written.  Take care......Sue

Suetang

cpalmer
Senior Member
since 2001-06-26
Posts 977
Phoenix, Az
4 posted 2001-07-13 01:19 AM


I like the rhyming scheme in this one!  good work!
Cindi

God is our inspiration; Words of the heart can be music to our ears
Cpalmer

Logan
Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641
Arkansas
5 posted 2001-07-13 01:29 AM


As this eagle takes to flight

Ahh,now LW, THIS is what I liked seeing, that you have spread your wings and lifted to the winds...oh, very good write and feel..very gentle smile


5_sweet_kisses
Junior Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 49

6 posted 2001-07-13 01:51 AM


i really likes this. keep up the good work  
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2001-07-13 04:52 AM


Nice writing...James
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
8 posted 2001-07-13 05:05 AM


It certainly is wonderful to be able to watch your work grow. I love this.  

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

9 posted 2001-07-13 08:45 AM


nicely written! I enjoyed

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
10 posted 2001-07-13 09:38 PM


sp: You just have to love a good cadence!  Thanks!

VAS: Thanks, but I think it works either way.  The message is what really counts.  

Sue: Thank you!

Cindi: Happy to hear you enjoyed.  The rhyme in this one just kind of fell into place.  

Logan: The wings are spread and the view is awesome!!  I much appreciate your thoughts and replies to my work, my friend.  

5_sweet_kisses: Thank you and welcome!

James:  

Temptress: I believe that with each word we write, we all continually grow as poets and people.  Thank you!

Cpat Hair: Thanks to you!

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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