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Open Poetry #15
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pooh
Junior Member
since 2001-07-10
Posts 12
iowa usa

0 posted 2001-07-11 03:31 PM



As my mind inquires
my heart introduces torment.
My mind develops into a haze
with every impression.
The impressions races to and fro
never again to be hushed.
Distrurbance begins
thoughts of fear and disperse
Blaze by at lightening quickness
generating misery.
My body obeys with
sadness to be whole.
To enjoy peace with soul
and mind
Despite the mind, it fights to tell
of great destress.
Feeling of unsparing loneliness,
looms in the dimness.
To have no comprehension
of what is to come.
The realization of the pain
I must feel.
Weighs deeply upon
this lonely heart.
Apprehension of forsaken
we really are.

[This message has been edited by pooh (edited 07-11-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 pam clark - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2001-07-11 03:40 PM


Nice.. might want to check your spelling on a few words, but I like the composition and enjoyed the read...


Waseem Cheema
Member
since 2001-03-16
Posts 369
Pakistan
2 posted 2001-07-11 03:47 PM


Yah it is very good.....nice composition as said Capt.
pooh
Junior Member
since 2001-07-10
Posts 12
iowa usa
3 posted 2001-07-11 03:48 PM


ty  i hope i fixed it  
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
4 posted 2001-07-11 05:33 PM


I don't know the pre-editing version was, but I can only spot that lightning is spelled 'lightening,' incorrectly.

this is extremely well described

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
5 posted 2001-07-11 06:46 PM


Pooh, wow.....very cool   off to find the next one!  
cpalmer
Senior Member
since 2001-06-26
Posts 977
Phoenix, Az
6 posted 2001-07-12 05:44 PM


Pooh,
I really liked this...I will have to look for more of your writings
Cindi

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