How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Teen Poetry #5 Archive
 Fairy-tale love
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Fairy-tale love

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 10-28-2000
Posts 1147
Standing In Silence...


0 posted 09-07-2002 11:30 AM       View Profile for Spine Grinder   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Spine Grinder

this is completely different from the last poem i posted b/c its written 4 someone else LoL

Rejoiceful sounds,
fill the air,
as our bodies meet-
in a tender embrace.

You are the one,
who fills my life with happiness,
I knew this as soon-
as I saw the look on your face.

Tears of joy,
slide down my cheeks,
you wipe them away-
with a gentle kiss.

With your arms,
wrapped around me,
I see nothing but us-
in this real bliss.

~Ur feelings never change, u just learn 2 hide them~

© Copyright 2002 Staci Weidner - All Rights Reserved
Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 07-02-2000
Posts 4370
Fl


1 posted 09-07-2002 12:34 PM       View Profile for Jenn Cirrincione   Email Jenn Cirrincione   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jenn Cirrincione

This was pretty. I hope this person can make you happy.

Jenn

Why is it that we are at our most ingenius only when trying to destroy the things that keep us alive and thriving?

devinechild22
Senior Member
since 08-28-2002
Posts 576


2 posted 09-07-2002 12:58 PM       View Profile for devinechild22   Email devinechild22   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devinechild22

    Awww. What a nice poem. I really liked it and i hope yu and "mystery girl" are happy.LOL. Keep writing cause I love your stuff.
Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 10-28-2000
Posts 1147
Standing In Silence...


3 posted 09-07-2002 06:04 PM       View Profile for Spine Grinder   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Spine Grinder

mystery guy lol, i'm female just 2 let everyone know

~Ur feelings never change, u just learn 2 hide them~

devinechild22
Senior Member
since 08-28-2002
Posts 576


4 posted 09-09-2002 01:37 PM       View Profile for devinechild22   Email devinechild22   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devinechild22

oh my gosh i am so sorry for confusing u with a male! please forgive me. lol
     allison
Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 10-28-2000
Posts 1147
Standing In Silence...


5 posted 09-09-2002 03:58 PM       View Profile for Spine Grinder   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Spine Grinder

lol its ok

~Ur feelings never change, u just learn 2 hide them~

deadeyes
Junior Member
since 11-07-2001
Posts 34


6 posted 09-10-2002 03:57 PM       View Profile for deadeyes   Email deadeyes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for deadeyes

Ok this was really cliched. And i'm gonna say it because people tell this to newbies who are still learning to write and here's an example of a post that's just as cliched. Next time if a newbie is critiqued..think about your own poetry.

"Silencio..no hay banda..no hay orquesta."
"We hear a band yet we don't see a band". It is all a recording."
"Silencio. It is all an illusion".

deadeyes
Junior Member
since 11-07-2001
Posts 34


7 posted 09-10-2002 03:58 PM       View Profile for deadeyes   Email deadeyes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for deadeyes

But that's just poetic criticism. jeje
I also hope it all goes well with your love.

"Silencio..no hay banda..no hay orquesta."
"We hear a band yet we don't see a band". It is all a recording."
"Silencio. It is all an illusion".

clve527
Member
since 07-08-2002
Posts 202


8 posted 09-10-2002 11:22 PM       View Profile for clve527   Email clve527   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for clve527

Just a comment, whether or not one's own poetry is cliche has no merit in regards to  another critique.  If a poem is cliche then the critiquer is fully allowed to say as such.  If one does not truth one should not request it.

Casey

If all you want is emotion, go down to walmart, buy yourself a diary and hide it in a drawer where no one can see...

LyricFetish
Senior Member
since 01-13-2000
Posts 515
North Carolina


9 posted 09-12-2002 11:06 PM       View Profile for LyricFetish   Email LyricFetish   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LyricFetish

I know the feelings expressed in your poem all to well! Very well put.

Note: if anyone wants to call the poem "cliche", then might I remind them that LOVE, in and of itself, is cliche. People think about it, feel it, and fall out of it every day. And, by the way, check out the title! The author knew what she was writing about.

*~Meredith~*

"I can taste you on my lips
and smell you in my clothes"
*BHS

 
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Teen Poetry #5 >> Fairy-tale love Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors