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The Scent Of You Letter
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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The Scent Of You Letter |
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StellarChica Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207floating down a river... |
Your letter came today, It smells like a candle store, And that's all I have to say. Heh, I don't know what the point of this is. The title sucks too..but I was sitting here smelling this envelope hoping a title would come to me but I got nothing..Eh. This poem's pretty pointless anyway but you can add some depth to it if you want..maybe.. *~erin~* "I've got nothing left to hide except for what's inside. I keep it all locked up in this prison we call love."-Sugarcult |
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| © Copyright 2002 Erin Reynolds - All Rights Reserved | |||
SunShine913
since 2001-08-19
Posts 211Italy but from NC |
hehe it made me smile~! *!~!* Andrea *!~!* |
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StellarChica Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207floating down a river... |
Goodie. I like to make people smile. :D "I've got nothing left to hide except for what's inside. I keep it all locked up in this prison we call love."-Sugarcult |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
You might like using japanese formats if you like this kind of poem. Try senryu, haiku, tanka... they can be three or five lines long, and aren't very restrictive. But they add a bit of rhythm to your poem. Plus you have an excuse for making them short.  This is really cute though, it did make me smile. Smelled like the candle store? Allow me to interperet... Your letter came today This is simply brilliant. You speak to a person who would send you a letter as though they are readily at your disposal. This is a good way to negate and undermine the proposed distance and appropriateness of a letter. Secondly, your use of "today." I love how it sets a timeline, and accentuates the fact that you were somehow waiting for or anticipating this letter. That it came as nothing of a surprise to you, and was simply an event as expected as a weekend. You also say it lifelessly and dully, as though letters arriving are something mundane and ordinary for you. I love how you use the phrasing here to express your indifferent response to the recieving of a letter. It smells like a candle store I had to sit and look at this for a while before actually getting it. First of all, excellent use of sensory appeal. This kind of scent imagery always makes me grin whenever I see it - it's easy for a reader to picture something, but this instills an imagined scent in their mind. This is always a wonderful writing technique, it brings a lot to your work. Now, "a candle store?" Why a candle store? I begin placing this person's letter into a sort of storyline. Would this person have visited a candle store before delivering the letter? Been there while writing it? This is very ponderous and open-ended, but I'd have to say that it refers to the writer's longing for you. A candle store might have some kind of personal significance. Perhaps this person wishes to keep a candle in the window for you, should you return. It could also be a form of metaphor, which I obviously think is entirely more likely. "It smells like a candle store." A candle store, a place where people buy candles... could this be meant to say, a place where people purchase methods of temporary light? "Smells like" could also mean "is suspiciously related to." Perhaps you are accusing this person of seeking newer forms of enlightenment? Are you accusing him of cheating on you? I could draw a lot from this but I'll digress for now... And that's all I have to say A powerful closing line. You effectively cut short your worry or connection to this person, completely shunning all further thought or comment from them. Another possibility is that you simply refuse to say anymore, as you consider this person no longer worthy of your enlightenment, as he has sought such a thing in a new proverbial "candle store." Well, correct me if I'm wrong... but I did see the depth you were reaching for here, methinks...  Oh and sorry if I read into it a little bit. I await your next masterpiece.  Parasite |
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