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Jenn Cirrincione
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Fl

0 posted 2002-08-18 09:46 PM


Pretty in Pink
Chased and then shunned
Living for you-
as you've molded me.
Woke up today,
...wondering...
What do you want from me?
A slave to your ideal
and trapped amongst
your hypocrisy;
What you've failed
to be-
I must now manage.
Muster up the courage,
for another day;
With fluffy hair,
and painted lips,
just so you can
judge
your creation.
I finally realize,
as I tear apart
the puppet strings...
You are not my God-
and nobody's savior.
Who are you to push me down,
and change me to fit...
your perfection?
It's over.

© Copyright 2002 Jennifer Parker - All Rights Reserved
LCBS
Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532
Connecticut
1 posted 2002-08-18 10:05 PM


I must now manage.
"Muster up the courage,
for another day;
With fluffy hair,
and painted lips,
just so you can
judge
your creation.
I finally realize,
as I tear apart
the puppet strings..."


I especially liked these lines, you have summed up a lot of what I feel.  I interpreted it two seperate ways, one being you are talking to some figure in your life pressuring  you to be perfect, and another being that you yourself are the perfectionist.  That is what really appealed to me, because I find myself being the largest critic in my life...and this poem almost put it into words...


ooo I have an idea for a poem! hehe


great write

~Lisa

Savage Quiescence
Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326
Wandering
2 posted 2002-08-18 10:09 PM


This is one poem that certainly speaks for itself. An incredibly wonderful write on a subject many of us try and approach but often times simply cannot find the words. But you managed to do a terrific job, and I thank you for sharing it! I also especially enjoyed the lines that Lisa posted.

~Sky

"Whatever life brings, I've been through everything, but now I'm on my knees again" -Creed

Skyfire
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since 2000-12-27
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Riding
3 posted 2002-08-19 12:47 PM


Oh, this one pissed me off on your behalf! Who is he? Where can I find him? Grrr! I love the way you bluntly say "it's over" at the end! Great job! *goes male hunting*
devil_tongue
Member
since 2000-03-02
Posts 50

4 posted 2002-08-19 10:40 AM


BOOYA! *hands you a stake and says attack*

Jenn, this is so strong and I'm really proud of you for this. Damn right it's over. It's over with bells on it! Sorry...getting a little emotional but you know how it is.
Very good structure with lots of emotion and yummy bits.

Loved it, love you and yeah! Go Jenn, go!

Me.

ROAR!!

vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
5 posted 2002-08-19 01:31 PM


Jenn,
   How dare someone try to morph you into what they want you to be!!  This is one thing that I think is very, very wrong.  I like this poem alot, and I love that you were able to take control of the situation in the way you ended the poem.  Keep posting!!

Always,
Nikki

     *~Fighting for your love~*
    *~Is something I cannot do~*
   *~I'm not good enough to win~*
*~And I'm not strong enough to lose~*

dj29
Junior Member
since 2002-08-19
Posts 13
Florida
6 posted 2002-08-19 08:06 PM


great poem Jenn

hopefully ill start getting some constructive critiques on mine

in order to do that im gonna go see what others wrote

Bubbye

Danny

"I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart" ~Anne Frank, Diary entry from 15 July 1944.

anawnda
Member
since 2002-07-26
Posts 113

7 posted 2002-08-20 05:04 AM


nice job, i know how it feels like to be a slave to perfection because i hang out w/those type of people.


* you can hurt me...with your bare hands,or
you can hurt me with the sharp edge of what you said.....* jewel kilcher

Kevin
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Senior Member
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729
Torrington, Ct, Usa
8 posted 2002-08-20 09:12 AM


who says its a man? maybe a mother
Tamma
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Posts 794
In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV
9 posted 2002-08-21 05:47 PM


I agree with Kevin...It could be a mother trying to live thru her daughter, or relive her younger years thru her...Or a man, just as well - if it is a man, its tyme to kick him to the curb!

Sorry...I've been venting alot lately...recently got dumped for a really messed up reason...


~ Tamma Marian

Have you ever heard that "No shirt, No shoes" rule? My question is...Why doesn't that rule include pants?

branden726
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607
Bay City, MI
10 posted 2002-08-22 05:33 PM


Hey jen jen, remember me? Well I hope you do im just here to give you some good advice.

Keep on writting this is really lovely I thought i was looking at another post of yours and i typed the wrong thing in sorry's lol :-p im kinda "new" again

[This message has been edited by branden726 (08-22-2002 05:35 PM).]

Tiger
Junior Member
since 2002-08-18
Posts 24
Queensland, Australia
11 posted 2002-08-23 04:11 AM


I try to tackle the same topic and nothing comes out except just a whole lot of jibberish that is why i like the way you have wrote it. I look forward into reading more of your work.

-Tiger


Jenn Cirrincione
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since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
12 posted 2002-08-23 10:48 AM


Thanks everyone for your comments and opinions. This just...came to me when I was feeling a tad frustrated and angry with some people in my life, and how I was letting them get to me. I feel a bit better now, and I'm hopefully moving forward. Thanks again everyone. Luv you all

Jenn

Why is it that we are at our most ingenius only when trying to destroy the things that keep us alive and thriving?

DancinQueen
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Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
13 posted 2002-08-23 02:13 PM


Hey Jen I'll have to admit when I clicked on this because of the Title this wasn't what I was expected, but it was excellent. I really liked the bluntness at the end, really shows your power and self-confidence. Guys are jerk until you find a good one. Keep your head up!

~Kiley

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

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