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Jester
Junior Member

since 2002-08-13

Posts 41
The dark corners of your mind

0 posted 2002-08-14 07:28 PM

Swallow me like a pill
I become you
We are forever bound
This is not life
This is not death
Wake up to the world around you
Wake up to the truth of your lies
Go back to sleep
You are blind
You will always be dependant on the pill

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

1 posted 2002-08-14 10:56 PM

wow, i liked this, this is the first i think i've read of urs. good job.

~Ur feelings never change, u just learn 2 hide them~

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

2 posted 2002-08-15 12:46 PM

The truth? I thought it was powerful. Other then that, I feel led to type nothing else. A pukka piece of writing, Jessica.

Sincerely,
Titus

"I'll prepare myself, and one day my time will come."
-Abraham Lincoln

[This message has been edited by PoetryIsLife (08-15-2002 12:47 AM).]

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

3 posted 2002-08-15 01:18 AM

ti pukka? anyways great poem very well written. please check your email for a special greeting.

you either like me for who i am or you don't like me at all

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

4 posted 2002-08-15 03:04 AM

hey,
this was kinda morbid, but i definetly thought it was cool. i especially thought the first two lines were powerful.
-bergundy-

maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio-

anya
Member

since 2002-07-27

Posts 393
London, UK

5 posted 2002-08-15 03:43 AM

I liked the length of this poem, you got your point across and didn't get long winded which I think helped this particular poem, helped give it more of an impact, anyway I thought this was a clever poem
anya

paper doll
Member

since 2002-08-04

Posts 133
Floating on Uncertainty

6 posted 2002-08-16 05:23 AM

Welcome to Passions!

Excellent first post, Jessica. You've established a strong base in your opening lines and finished it off nicely.

I look forward to reading many more pieces from you and seeing lots of your replies around the forum.

~M

Imagination=nostalgia for the past, the absent; it is the liquid solution in which art develops the snapshots of reality.

Otaku
Junior Member

since 2002-08-13

Posts 39
Western Australia

7 posted 2002-08-16 09:49 AM

short sentences add a greater impact on the reader....great use of it!

probably the main reason why i like it is because you didn't go into too much depth..you wrote just enough to hit the me!

look forward to reading your other poems...

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