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Teen Poetry #5
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WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

0 posted 2002-08-13 01:13 PM



What you can't understand
is that I wear
your scorn

along with the tattoos
decorating my flesh

and the piercings
that scream of who I am.

I wear them as
my native dress

my origin being
the realm of
me

in this same way
do I wear your scorn

a mere decoration
for others to see

then dismiss

as simply that

mere decoration.

WhiteRose




In truth, what defines us is our poetry.

[This message has been edited by WhiteRose (08-13-2002 02:21 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Anne Thompson - All Rights Reserved
Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
1 posted 2002-08-13 02:20 PM


I really really liked this and I don't know why.  I wish I could give you more feedback on it, but I can only (sincerely) tell you that I really really liked it.  Great job!
Dark Enchantress
Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258
meet Morgana
2 posted 2002-08-13 03:06 PM


I think that it's obvious right away as to what you mean by "I wear your scorn", but I like the way you went into it with the tattoos and piercings. It just further emphasized your point and showed exactly where you're coming from. I really enjoyed reading this. I can't think of a reason to damage your ego so I'm not going to try.

I'm married to Mr.Metaphor. We make love everyday.

punkrockerrobin
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
3 posted 2002-08-14 04:30 AM


wooohoooo someone that can get across what i was trying to write better than me

you either like me for who i am or you don't like me at all

fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
4 posted 2002-08-14 04:43 AM


hey,
hmmm, *Smiles* it does kind of remind me all robin's posts.  hers are quite good, but you managed to get the basic message across without sounding angry.  the message is good, and the poem is good, so i don't have any reason to complain.
-bergundy-

maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio-

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