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Teen Poetry #5
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anawnda
Member
since 2002-07-26
Posts 113


0 posted 2002-08-09 04:45 AM


"RAGE AGAINST LETTING GO"


A scab...
is slowly forming...
covering the cut I got
from loving you.


A fool,
I've been
& will always be
to keep picking
on the scab,
refusing to let go.

***



* you can hurt me...with your bare hands,or
you can hurt me with the sharp edge of what you said.....* jewel kilcher

[This message has been edited by anawnda (08-09-2002 05:16 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 anawnda - All Rights Reserved
fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
1 posted 2002-08-09 05:12 AM


hey,
i don't think i have ever responded to one of your poems, so eh..it's about damn time i did.  i like the idea of this poem, the scab metaphor..it works. although i think you could add a little more to it, make it shine a little more, you obviously have the skill.  however, it is a really excellent idea.  that feeling sucks, and i think you did a good job of portraying it.  thanks for sharin.
-bergundy-

maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio-

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

2 posted 2002-08-09 12:08 PM


I enjoyed yr poem, anwnda -- the poem as small and complete as the pain you describe in it. I had to erase it from Dark though, because you can't double post to another forum. If you want to repost, wait at least a few days, and then say Rage Against Letting Go (repost from Teen 5).

Any questions, feel free to e-mail me.

Mike


StellarChica
Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207
floating down a river...
3 posted 2002-08-09 03:06 PM


Hey! This was really good. It was short but had a lot of meaning. The metaphor was great. This was just awesome! Keep it up!

*~erin~*

"You say the present's just a pleasant interruption to the past."-Something Corporate

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
4 posted 2002-08-09 07:03 PM


Nice work, Anawnda.  You did another great job of finding a unique analogy and extending it through poetic form.

I'd love to see you try something different, but that doesn't mean I'm sick of this style you've adapted... it's quite interesting, and refreshingly different from most other things in this forum.

Good work, once more.  I'll keep reading you.

Parasite

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