Velvet Ropes - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Teen Poetry #5

Velvet Ropes

Kevin

Senior Member

since 1999-11-02

Posts 729
Torrington, Ct, Usa

0 posted 2002-08-05 10:03 AM

She’s an O’keeffe
Simple
Bright
Beautiful
Always in the foreground
Demanding attention
Allowing everyone only so close
Before checking with velvet ropes
The Salvador in me is envious
He stares in awe of her distinct curves
Her frame
I offer him no comfort
For I no longer see a painting but a mirror
Repressing beauty as I watch helplessly
While insecurities are drawn out
From inside

[This message has been edited by Kevin (08-05-2002 10:15 AM).]

LCBS
Senior Member

since 2001-11-29

Posts 532
Connecticut

1 posted 2002-08-05 02:54 PM

Excellent, I loved how you "painted your picture" in this poem. Incorporating Dali and O'keefe showed how creative you really are!

"For I no longer see a painting but a mirror
Repressing beauty as I watch helplessly
While insecurities are drawn out
From inside"

Those lines are amazing, how this girl becomes a reflection of your own insecuties is profound and, and, and....oh I dont know what word I am looking for, but the whole thing was awesome!

~lisa

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

2 posted 2002-08-05 02:59 PM

I agree with Lisa. I loved the Salvador line... great poem. (but i hate to see a great rhymer go back to free verse)

Write on

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

3 posted 2002-08-05 03:16 PM

Marvelous. Simply wonderful.

I've never seen you on the streets of this town, I've never seen you just hanging around, But you still tell me that you know me... ~Justin Sane

anya
Member

since 2002-07-27

Posts 393
London, UK

4 posted 2002-08-05 04:53 PM

oh my god, loved this so so much, clever and eloquent, could go on but I won't, anyway thankyou
anya

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.