navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Your Weather Forecast
Teen Poetry #5
Post A Reply Post New Topic Your Weather Forecast Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
StellarChica
Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207
floating down a river...

0 posted 2002-08-04 09:12 PM



This is something I wrote awhile ago. I don't know if it's any good but oh well. Here it is anyway:

The sky turns a pale shade of green,
Foreshadowing the storm to come,
Lightning always strikes at the right time,
Or so I've been told.
But this time it's decided to rain on my parade,
You're letting your thunder roll,
Just when the sun had begun to shine on me.
Now you've abandoned me,
Under a tree,
Covered in tin foil,
In the middle of your lightning storm,
Crying so hard,
That there's a flash flood warning,
And there's not a chance for me,
You're not going to bring your lifeboat to rescue me,
So leave me here,
I'd rather die than be alone anyway.

Thanks for reading

*~erin~*

"Temporaryism has been the Black Plague and the Jesus of our age."-incubus

© Copyright 2002 Erin Reynolds - All Rights Reserved
LCBS
Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532
Connecticut
1 posted 2002-08-04 09:55 PM


Very, very good...I love the metaphor....very good!

~Lisa

Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
2 posted 2002-08-05 02:01 AM


Hey, I really like this one! I mean, really really like this one!
Savage Quiescence
Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326
Wandering
3 posted 2002-08-06 06:26 PM


Yes, I agree, not only was the metaphor excellent to begin with but you executed it so well. Very good write and great ending.

~Sky

mistic
Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.
4 posted 2002-08-07 12:25 PM


awesome
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Your Weather Forecast

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary