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Teen Poetry #5
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Hallucination
Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419


0 posted 2002-08-04 10:36 AM


I've been asked a million times,
If there's someone special in my life...

Each time I have to answer,
There is no one in peticuler...

Not since I last rode train blue,
Not since the last time the white doves flew...

Or since the moment that night,
Now there's only me myself and I...

Will I ever live to see,
The one that God picked for me...

Or will I grow old and gray,
Die without knowing one day...

Will I watch my friends have kids,
Happy cross their life long bridge...

Will I ever get to meet,
The one that God picked for me...

[This message has been edited by Hallucination (08-04-2002 10:37 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved
knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
1 posted 2002-08-17 02:26 PM


nice poem. some of the rhyming felt a bit forced, but thats just me. oO prolly cuz i suck at rhyming myself. this was my fav part:
quote:
Will I ever live to see,
The one that God picked for me...

Or will I grow old and gray,
Die without knowing one day...

the 'will I ever live to see,/The one that God picked for me...' part reminded me of a Philmore song. Good luck with your writing and keep posting.
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.”

"Words are windows to the heart."

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