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Passions in Poetry

34 shades of black

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paper doll
Member
since 08-04-2002
[First Post] 138
Floating on Uncertainty


0 posted 08-04-2002 08:47 AM       View Profile for paper doll   Email paper doll   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for paper doll

The flicker of a candle hangs in the corner
Resting…silently…
Giving one thousand reasons
To descend into darkness
And meet the hand of
Plastic dreams
And curdled hope.

The unquiet grave lurks
Around the corner from dying
Children and their innocence.
One, two…three gunshots to
The skulls of virtue
And a clear path for the wine.

There’s a suicide poem buried
Under an oak tree in the gardens
A murky undertone guards
It’s meaning
The faith that hides behind the smile

She lived.

She was told that love
Was nicer than a complimentary
Meal in the Windsor.
And that the denim bags
Holding her smile would be free
From beneath the couch
The asp held her tongue.

Glitter fell from the heavens
And paved the street in childlike
Glory…the subtle look of youth
Clasping at straws she fell
  Low

Lower

Until the ground moved from side to side
And revealed only the bitterness
She longed to rid of
Last December with the
Frost.

~M

Imagination=nostalgia for the past, the absent; it is the liquid solution in which art develops the snapshots of reality.

[This message has been edited by paper doll (08-04-2002 08:48 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 Marie O'Donnell - All Rights Reserved
Lady In White
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since 02-12-2001
Posts 2919
USA


1 posted 08-04-2002 09:32 AM       View Profile for Lady In White   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lady In White


A very intense poem to begin your time in Passions!  Welcome, and I hope you will find yourself in a new home where much is to be explored.  Please, check your E-mail for a Special Greeting!

write with grace, all others lose face;
"Jo was very tall, thin, ... and reminded one of a colt..." LMA

Marshalzu
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since 02-15-2001
Posts 4465
Lurking


2 posted 08-04-2002 05:24 PM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

This is such a wonderful poem to read, from start to finish it was a pleasure to read such beautifully crafted lines, I hope to see more of your work around here in the near future

Andrew

"If you are afraid of wolves, stay out of the woods"

J.V. Stalin

Greeneyes
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Member Patricius
since 09-09-2000
Posts 10848
In Your Poetic Mind


3 posted 08-04-2002 11:50 PM       View Profile for Greeneyes   Email Greeneyes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Greeneyes

Wow very impressive first poem.....WELCOME, I hope you enjoy Passions...
Greeneyes~

The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket
I lean against the wind pretend I am weightless and in this moment I am happy

mistic
Member
since 05-06-2001
Posts 257
Idaho, U.S.A.


4 posted 08-05-2002 01:19 PM       View Profile for mistic   Email mistic   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mistic

awesome imagery. thanks for sharing this awesome piece with us. Welcome to Pip.
chasing rain
Senior Member
since 05-15-2001
Posts 1281
Canada


5 posted 08-05-2002 03:54 PM       View Profile for chasing rain   Email chasing rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for chasing rain

paper doll-

This is such a beautiful and dark poem. The lyric tone and subtle cynisism, metaphors, and personifications really held my attention. The imagery, bold, yet at the same time telling a story gives the reader so much more to look forward to. There are many very well written lines here, as well, and it seems to flow very smoothly.

A very inspirational post! I look forward to more of your poetry!

-Leah-

Va pensiero sul' ali dorate...
bsquirrel
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Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


6 posted 08-05-2002 06:30 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Wow.

Said if I only could ...
-KB

Skyfire
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since 12-27-2000
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Riding


7 posted 08-06-2002 01:42 AM       View Profile for Skyfire   Email Skyfire   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfire

I don't know what to say...
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


8 posted 08-06-2002 02:44 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

impressive--dark and intense but you managed the subtle shades of this extraordinarily well! I will remember your name.
Dark Enchantress
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since 07-27-99
Posts 1460
meet Morgana


9 posted 08-06-2002 04:05 AM       View Profile for Dark Enchantress   Email Dark Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Dark Enchantress's Home Page   View IP for Dark Enchantress

Delicious.. hum dee dum dum.. I love reading poetry like this.. even though the wishing that I had written it myself makes me weary..

... Welcome to Passions


"if you know me so well then tell me which hand do I use?" Tori Amos

[This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (08-06-2002 04:09 AM).]

Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


10 posted 08-09-2002 12:03 AM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

One of the best penned poems I've seen in this forum in a long time. I can't wait to read more! Thanks for sharing. Write on!

Check out my poetry here:


http://www.unknownpoets.com/db/authors/master

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


11 posted 08-09-2002 12:09 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

I have been back a few times...and?

my. my. my.

"She was told that love
Was nicer than a complimentary
Meal in the Windsor.
And that the denim bags
Holding her smile would be free
From beneath the couch
The asp held her tongue."

savory as satin...
MIdsummerRain
Member
since 05-19-2002
Posts 180
St. Louis, Missouri


12 posted 08-09-2002 01:58 AM       View Profile for MIdsummerRain   Email MIdsummerRain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for MIdsummerRain

Intense & Savory as Satin Indeed; Welcome to Passions; I await your next write as well ~Rayne

One day Men will look back & say
that I gave birth to the 20th Century
            
             Jack the Ripper ~1888

Local Parasite
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Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


13 posted 08-10-2002 12:16 AM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Oh hm... this is one poem that I must say struck me as very professional.  You obviously have refined your skill and value high-quality poetry, because this is all the work of a true tradesman.  

I loved the images this poem provoked... especially the way you counted up to three when describing gunshots... the different dark sentiments (this poem is pitch dark... I really respect a poem that can be truly dark without merely using a ton of buzz words).

"Unquiet grave" made me think of Faith and the Muse.     I don't know if you meant to make that reference, might just be a coincidence.

Well, welcome to Passions in Poetry.   Have fun sharing with us, I hope to see you reading and offering insight... Teen Poetry is in need of some more members, and I'd love to see your talent in the bunch.  

Parasite
paper doll
Member
since 08-04-2002
Posts 138
Floating on Uncertainty


14 posted 08-10-2002 01:44 AM       View Profile for paper doll   Email paper doll   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for paper doll

Thank you all for the warm reception. I look forward to posting around here a lot more as you all seem like such a welcoming bunch of people.

~M

Imagination=nostalgia for the past, the absent; it is the liquid solution in which art develops the snapshots of reality.

Jenn Cirrincione
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since 07-02-2000
Posts 4370
Fl


15 posted 08-10-2002 01:35 PM       View Profile for Jenn Cirrincione   Email Jenn Cirrincione   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jenn Cirrincione

You never cease to amaze me lady.
Great work as always, and I agree with LP refined and professionally done. I read a lot of hope in this- oddly enough; I like it when you write that way.

Wonderful
Jenn

Why is it that we are at our most ingenius only when trying to destroy the things that keep us alive and thriving?

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


16 posted 08-10-2002 04:47 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

"Low

Lower

Until the ground moved from side to side
And revealed only the bitterness
She longed to rid of
Last December with the
Frost."

*shaking my head, here*

the implications are lovely here...even the spaces between words are like blue of sky against the peak of mountain. This is SO solidly constructed...sigh. (I've been back more than a few times but this time? I HAD to say something!)

*damnthisisgood*

PoetryIsLife
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since 10-27-2001
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...in my boxers...


17 posted 08-10-2002 08:56 PM       View Profile for PoetryIsLife   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PoetryIsLife

*clapping* I'll return with my 'aces' later, if I have any. For now... splendidly done.

Sincerely,
Titus
Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 07-09-2000
Posts 2238
Baltimore, MD


18 posted 09-08-2002 04:46 PM       View Profile for Ceinwyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ceinwyn

I'm sorry I missed this one! hrm...splendid as the others have stated..and welcome..tho I am fashionably late..my humble apologies

Kristen

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

quietlydying
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Senior Member
since 06-10-2001
Posts 1316
the wonderful land of oz


19 posted 11-15-2002 02:29 AM       View Profile for quietlydying   Email quietlydying   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for quietlydying

i once wrote a poem called sixty seven shades of purple [or some number like that].

heh.  a long long time ago.  but i just thought i'd let you know.  

beautiful, as always m'dear.

never ever stop writing.

where ARE you?

/jen/

i'm so bitterly disappointed.  betty, i think it's time you leave now.

 
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