»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #5
»
i am a punk rocker!!
| Teen Poetry #5 |
|
i am a punk rocker!! |
|
punkrockerrobin 
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV 
|
i am a punk rocker i play drums in a band some say i am a loser get it right i'm a punk rocker i wear converse plaid skirt with chains on it a white tank top i look scary with my piercings. i am a punk rocker ok people i just wrote this cus i was bored i know it stinks but who cares. |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Robin Hill - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
clve527 Member
since 2002-07-08
Posts 200 |
Honestly, this reads more like a profile than a poem. Using poetic devices, capitalization, and punctuation could make this more poetic. Good luck on further writes. Casey If all you want is emotion, go down to walmart, buy yourself a diary and hide it in a drawer where no one can see... |
||
|
punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
ok first of all i said it just came out so don't be shootin me down. and who are you to tell me how to write? |
||
|
paper doll Member
since 2002-08-04
Posts 133Floating on Uncertainty |
Damn right. Take a stand. People look at me oddly because of the way I dress too and the marks on my body but if you take their crap you simply become them. An expression of the soul in any shape or form is more than likely a good one. Thank you for posting something that demonstrates power to yourself.  ~M Imagination=nostalgia for the past, the absent; it is the liquid solution in which art develops the snapshots of reality. |
||
|
clve527 Member
since 2002-07-08
Posts 200 |
I am making suggestions, giving my opinion. You encouraged critiques, so I suggested ways to make this a better poem. Casey If all you want is emotion, go down to walmart, buy yourself a diary and hide it in a drawer where no one can see... |
||
|
punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
well figure out a way to say it so i don't get so pissed off! oh and i hope you got my email. |
||
|
Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Robin- She's been creating a slight stir around here, member when Allan first started replying? Some people believe in honesty first tact last. It happens- if it annoys you just let it go and don't pay any attention. I think she's already been told to be a tad more respectful. Anyway, I agree with Paper Doll...take a stand and be yourself...  Yay for youJenn Why is it that we are at our most ingenius only when trying to destroy the things that keep us alive and thriving? [This message has been edited by Jenn Cirrincione (08-04-2002 04:02 PM).] |
||
|
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
If I were to take sides, I'd have to split my body in half. Welcome back, robin. It's good to see you again.~Carly "Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions." |
||
|
LCBS Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532Connecticut |
Actually Robin, I think that Casey was very respectful in her crit...or maybe it is because this time, I am on the outside looking in....hmmm, I plead SWITZERLAND ~Lisa |
||
|
Purple Lightning New Member
since 2002-07-28
Posts 9Riding |
SWITZERLAND? Can I borrow that, Lisa? Anyway Robin, I like it. It shows who you are. Good write, chicly! |
||
|
Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
I agree with Casey. Why even bother posting something that you youself said wasn't good? I undestand that this is a TEEN poetry, and people have to vent, rant, etc... but it is teen POETRY. Let's keep poetry a form of art. If you have something that you think is worthy then post it, if not then keep it to yourself, and this goes out to everyone. We have to learn by reading each other's work, and we'll never get anywhere if we keep posting everything we write and keep praising everything we read. I'm sorry if this was a bit harsh, but I"m tired of everyone picking on Casey. She does have a good point and this time, she was even respectful in trying to get it across. Peace Check out my poetry here: http://www.unknownpoets.com/db/authors/master [This message has been edited by Master (08-05-2002 02:09 AM).] |
||
|
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I enjoyed, though it's not nearly nihilistic enough for punk. Heh heh. Cool attitude, though.  Mikey Said if I only could ... |
||
|
anya Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393London, UK |
'some say I'm a loser, get it right i'm a punk rocker',liked that made me laugh, don't know if that was the desired effect but hey never mind anya |
||
|
punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
well master she has not been one bit respectful to me or my friends and you aren't either. people can post what they want you have no say. so zip it! |
||
Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Master - just because she didn't think it was any good, doesn't mean that no one in here likes it. If everyone kept all their stuff that they think isn't worthy of posting off of here, there'd be no poetry in here. Robin - I still think this one is good. It shows YOU |
||
|
Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
A) I don't see how I was disrespectful to you. B) Telling me to "zip it" wasn't so nice either. c) I'm not going to waste my time trying to prove my case, but is "I really like it!" all everyone wants to hear in this forum? I see poetry being slaughtered right before my very eyes and it hurts to watch. Check out my poetry here: |
||
|
anya Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393London, UK |
then it begs the question why bother watching? 'poetry being slaughtered' is that not slightly melodramatic? |
||
|
Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
Nope...it’s not It’s necessary And I agree with Master and Casey They were respectful There are much worse ways to say things Then again maybe we should just rage against all rules and authority DAMN THE MAN! |
||
|
LCBS Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532Connecticut |
OK before I go ahead and jump into this heated discussion I want to say that I take no sides. Robin, if you can speak your opinion, as you have done responding to countless poems...then people responding to your poems can do the same. I also felt that Casey and Master were respectful in their responses, and yes, some poetry may be slaughtered on this site. On the otherhand, if anyone wants their poem to be read and responded to then they should be able to post it. With posting comes exactly that, responses, and you need to be prepared for that. I am just beginning to practice what I preach... Just a thought, Lisa |
||
|
WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
Here's just a thought from an old lady who hasn't been a teenager in awhile, but was one way back when. First of all I haven't been here long and one of my first endeavors in Critical Analysis was shot down with just a few words by the dreaded Casey, as if the poem wasn't even worth the effort it would have taken to say more than she did and I can tell you it wasn't even a critique, just a not so subtle insult about a typo. I have since did a search and found the only poems she ever posted here, and then considered the source and moved on. Enough said about that. On to the subject of this poem in particular, and it is a poem. It speaks volumes about the individual that wrote it, and I think that was the intention. We all have the right to be who we are, and if you have to scream to get that across, so be it. I like the poem. Well done. |
||
|
Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
I've been debating on whether or not I even wanted to open my mouth on this. But what the hell.. here goes.. I'll keep it simple.. - Everyone has a right to post whatever they want to in the forums. - When you post you are bound to get responces and if you encourage critiques you will get one. - If you find that a poem you feel is just not good at all then don't bother responding to it. Example: I hate most love poems I come across so if I find one, read it, and it turns out that I hate it I just don't bother replying. I do it all the time. It's not going to kill you to keep your mouth shut. - As long as we're respectful in our opinions I don't see anything wrong with expressing them. Onto the poem - I think that it had some attitude to it and a clear "I am who I am and that's just fine" message in it, which I can appreciate. So it's not Sylvia Plath... that's just not you.. and if you tried to pretend it was then your poem would be hypocritical. "if you know me so well then tell me which hand do I use?" Tori Amos [This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (08-06-2002 05:10 PM).] |
||
|
Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
This is a bit ridiculous. First of all, the comments about not posting something you don't consider worthy is really relative. Do you think William Shakespeare thought everything he composed was art? Probably not. I've seen numerous people write "This is just a vent- I know it's disorganized and not very well done...etc..." Just so people might be kinder in their replies. Obviously it didn't help Robin though, did it fellas? Sometimes, poems are very well written, but the poet is self-concsious so they say otherwise. IT's not fair to tell her if she feels that way about it to just leave it out of the public eye. Truth be told, many TV shows and films are garbage to me- but they still make appearances in the public, and even make money for it. Constructive criticism is welcomed I'm sure; but retorts that simply say "this is not a poem- keep things like this to yourself because it slaughter's my idea of poetry and it offends me..." just isn't very helpful- and kind of nullifies the notion of freedom of speech. (You can say it, if all you REALLY want is to be insulted and cut down for it.) Anyway, this is a ridiculous arguement, I suppose everyone is entitled to their say- just think of others feelings when doing so. Why is it that we are at our most ingenius only when trying to destroy the things that keep us alive and thriving? |
||
|
Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Ugh, I said i wasn't going to waste my time, but I have nothing to do anyway. Jenn, A) No one on this board is Mr. Shakespeare. B) I'm sure that Mr. Shakespeare didn't make public everything he wrote, especially if he, himself, thought it was bad. Whatever is available to us now is probably a very small portion comapared to all that he's written over his lifetime. C) If a poet wants kind remarks only, he/she is not a poet. As it says, Robin encourgaes constructive critiques. I know that my reply to her poem was not a critique, but I was simply defending someone else for expressing their opinion and being attacked for it. D) Livejournal is great for those who want to vent without critique/suggestions/feedback. E) I never said that it wasn't a poem. I never said that I was offended by it. All I said was that if the author felt that the poem wasn't good, why post it in the first place? I was offended not by the quality of poetry that i was reading, because truth be told, I've written a lot of crap in my time, but by the fact that most of the people here are only expecting good feedback. That's what I meant by saying that poetry was being slaughtered. I agree that everyone has the right to post whatever they want. I was merely making a suggestion to improve the overall quality of poetry on this forum. But whatever... post away. F) Last, but not least, poetry is a form of art. Not every person can sit by a canvas and be an artist. Even a better example. If I pick up an instrument that I've never played in my life before (say a violin) and start playing, would you say that the cacophony of sounds I'm likely to produce was beautiful? Probably not. Why then, do most people feel they can do it when it comes to poetry? I'm really tired of reading the bs responses like, "WOW... this was amazing" on every single poem. Don't you realize that a great poem comes along very rarely. By saying that everything we read is awesome, we not only cheat ourselves but we also bring down the stardard for poetry, which in my mind, is inexcusable. I say this from experience. I've written close to 400 poems and translated over 100 poems from Russian, and I consider only about twenty percent of all that work to bed good. With nothing but respect, Master Check out my poetry here: http://www.unknownpoets.com/db/authors/master [This message has been edited by Master (08-06-2002 05:28 PM).] |
||
|
Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
"Don't you realize that a great poem comes along very rarely." It all depends on a person's point of view, now doesn't it? |
||
|
Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
"Don't you realize that a great poem comes along very rarely. By saying that everything we read is awesome, we not only cheat ourselves but we also bring down the stardard for poetry, which in my mind, is inexcusable." I would have to agree. I feel that this should be a place where we grow as writers. I also feel that it's a place where people with a common interest can meet and socialize. Can't there be a point of balance? I'm married to Mr.Metaphor. We make love everyday. |
||
|
Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Skyfire, there needs to be a standard by which we judge poetry. If we consider everything good, then the art of poetry loses its meaning. Those who think that everything they read is great, know little about poetry. And I stand by that statement. |
||
|
Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Who's to decide what that standard is? You? |
||
|
Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
First, about the poem. I believe that this has potential. You did a good job at getting your point across. I do, however, agree that with more organization and the like, this could be a lot better, which leads me to my next point... I know I have not been here long at all, but I think I understand how it works. I do not mean to question any one's feelings, but I do not see how anything that was said was offensive. It was completely constructive. This is a poetry site, and if we have to take the time to sugar coat everything, no one will be benefited. It was simply short, and to the point. What else can we ask for? ~Sky |
||
|
chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
All right everyone, KNOCK IT OFF!!! ~_^ Sheesh. You want critiques? You get what you get. Robin- This piece does have potential. I agree with Casey about the capitalizations. I personally do find it distracting when capitalizations and/or purpose misspellings of "you" (to "u", etc.) occur in a poem because poetry is an art. Only a personal opinion. But Robin, you have such potential in your writing, and though this wasn't the best I've seen from you, I hope you will continue to write, despite what people say. However, please respect what they say, because in return, they will respect you. -Leah- |
||
|
Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
I set my own standard. You set your own. But if you're telling me that all the praise that was given out (not just by you, but by others) was sincere... then I strongly disagree. But whatever, I promised myself not to get too deep into this, so I won't. Do what you wish and good luck with everything. |
||
|
Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
Ummm...wasn't even going to bother responding...this is probably forgotten and done with by now but....*shrug* Personally I think this whole thing was stupid...this was a poem, and a very expressive one at that...anything a person creates out of emotion is art and is therefore beautiful to at least some degree...and a lot of things i write i dont think are that great, but i post them anyway because a) you never know when you're just being too hard on your own work, b) hearing other peoples thought are interesting and sometimes beneficial for future growth, and c) just because you don't like it, why should you deny other people the chance to form their own opinion on it? Having said all that, I have to defend Casey and masters right to critique....robin encouraged us to spit out what we have to say, and they did. They were honest about not finding much in this poem and you have to respect that. This place is worthless if we all have to grit our teeth, smile, and with tongue in cheek declare that we really like every single poem we read. In reality we're going to come across poetry that we don't think much of, and none of us will grow artistically if we aren't allowed to respond honestly to one another. That's all I have to say...I'm kind of embarrased that i even put my 2 cents in on this one... Kay The day you were born, you were born free |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
