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Teen Poetry #5

Stopping

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2002-07-28 01:29 PM

I keep telling myself,
I'm gonna stop now.
But now turns,
into next week.
Next week turns,
into next month.
People keep telling me,
it'll never work out.
But how,
how can you stop,
loving something so much,
even if it hurts?
I look out the window,
and watch the rainfall.
I hear the droplets hitting the roof,
and I thought,
"When will I stop?"
Then the answer came.
NEVER.
Never will I stop....loving you.

~Ultimately, we are all dead~Proximo

anya
Member

since 2002-07-27

Posts 393
London, UK

1 posted 2002-07-29 03:56 AM

like this, can relate to what you are saying, great transcription of those feelings, well done
anya

Savage Quiescence
Member

since 2002-07-29

Posts 326
Wandering

2 posted 2002-07-29 11:32 PM

This poem was rather nice. I would suggest taking it easy on the punctuation, however. It seems that some of the commas interupted flow. Just a suggestion, though. Nice work.

~Sky

Kevin

Senior Member

since 1999-11-02

Posts 729
Torrington, Ct, Usa

3 posted 2002-07-30 03:31 PM

Hey SG

This is good man,
I don't know about punctuation, its certainly one of my pitfalls but I did get tripped up on your tenses

you kinda switched from past to present and it got wierd on me, you might want to check that

aside great stuff here
thanks for the post
kev

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

4 posted 2002-08-04 09:15 AM

Kiddo take it from me
you may never stop
but..
you will let go.
Hugs.

Enjoy life, this is NOT a dress rehearsal.

{on the wings of words are spirits fly...and our souls are free~me}

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