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Teen Poetry #5
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love
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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love |
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NSnaomian Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232In my troll closet I be |
Love is misery, and pain like heartache is bliss, don't ask me why I feel the way I do, its just instinct. The art of love; lovemaking, hurts so deep that skies cloud and my vision blurs to a dark grey hue. I ache to be normal and good to myself, but I like the pain and rejection too much. It heals while love hurts me to the core, inside and out, want and desire are second nature to me, only second though to loneliness and despair. People look at me and see a girl with no light in her eyes and and no smile to curl her lips, I want a reason to smile again, a reason to laugh until I cry, but you are so lost and alone, I can't laugh without smiling and I can't smile vigorously or a sudden darkness of solitude will finally break my skin and I will be yours and yours alone; the very thing I protect myself from. This is actually the first of anything I've ever written and I came to be proud of it without knowing what others felt, this is also my first post here and I was hoping I could get feedback on all positive and negative aspects. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Laura - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
I don't like the overall structure of the poem (how its presented), but for your first post here this was not a bad one. I was afraid that it was going to be ridiculously mushy and insincere, but it wasn't. Thank God. Actually, thank you. On the contrary it sounded very sincere and confessional, which I dig. "if you know me so well then tell me which hand do I use?" Tori Amos [This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (07-22-2002 11:00 PM).] |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME Welcome to Passions for Poetry!!! As one of your Senior Moderators, I'd like to welcome you to this beautiful place. I hope you enjoy it as much as we all do. If you have any question regarding the rules and regulaton of the site, please don't hesitate to email me. Again, enjoy reading and posting too. As of your first post, your words are very good. I can see all your potential already. The only thing is it looks as if the entire poem was written in one stanza which makes it look like a paragraph. All in all, it was an excellent read. thanks for sharing ps: pls check your email là où est mon amour? donde está mi amour? wo ist meine Liebe? Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo. [This message has been edited by acire (07-23-2002 09:29 AM).] |
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