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Teen Poetry #5
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don't choose no
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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don't choose no |
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Sarkasm New Member
since 2002-07-12
Posts 3CA |
this is my first post. i won't apologize for the lack of caring about punctuation or capitalization. Don't choose no- don't choose no when your gaze meets mine the long seconds of blushing fear and from your pain i wish to be blind don't choose no when my voice grows dim and creepingly exhaustion upon us sets your voice in my head seems to stay within don't choose no yet please think if you must choose me that which always brings hope, flickers of 'happiness' shall never set one free... |
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| © Copyright 2002 Sarkasm - All Rights Reserved | |||
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shadowchild458 Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 117MN,USA |
it was pretty good. welcome to passions! you say be honest right? well...to be honest with you. it was a very good topic but the structure of the poem was kind of weak. see, you do rhyme but it seems like some of your lines are a bit long to really be rhyming. do you know what i mean? gosh i hope so. anywayz welcome to passions! i haven't been here so long myself! ok well bye! |
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Auguste 
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Sarkasm, A very good entrance. Welcome to Passions and please check your e-mail for a special greeting. Michael Auguste |
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Sarkasm New Member
since 2002-07-12
Posts 3CA |
shadowchild458- thank you for your critisism, and actually it's true that i normally don't use rhyming in my poetry. it kinda worked in this one, and it was never really planned. thank you again. -sarkasm |
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ericaisamonkey Member
since 2002-04-04
Posts 51A little town north of nowhere |
it wasn't really my type of thing, i don't really like rhyming poems. but reading that made me think a little, because at first when i read the title i was thinking that it was gonna be about like drugs or alcohol or something. lol. but all in all it wasn't bad and i guess you did make some sense. not much. lol. but a little. i guess it was nicely written. lol.  *Erica* :loveya: |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
 *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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clve527 Member
since 2002-07-08
Posts 200 |
You want honesty, well if you are going to use any punctuation, then use it correctly or not at all. Capitalization tends to benefit inexperienced writers, as does punctuation. But since you seem to not want to guide your reader through your poem, I hope you don't expect admiration from poets that truly respect the craft. Casey Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers. |
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Sarkasm New Member
since 2002-07-12
Posts 3CA |
miss casey, right? yes, well i don't appreciate your comments at all. others comments yes. yours are complete garbage. and i am attacking you as a person, and a poet. your harsh, crude, and lack any form of respect. your posts to almost any poet are of the harsh unkind critisism type. get off that pedastal of yours and perhaps get a life. if you feel the need to critisize me again, i will delete your posts. I do NOT appreciate your comments, so go away, bother someone else, as you seem to do constantly. As this was my first post, i find it especially rude of you. -sarkasm |
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