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Teen Poetry #5
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One could say
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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One could say |
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oakly234 New Member
since 2002-07-01
Posts 4 |
One could say As life wastes away The troubles they behold To watch them pass How long will they last? As one sits outside in the cold Why was it I? It makes me sometimes cry But it seems to never work out I suppose I won’t sit on it Or throw up a fit on it As I sit there and pout As the problems get closer I’d have to say no sir To the man in the black robe and sickle |
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| © Copyright 2002 oakly234 - All Rights Reserved | |||
punkrockerrobin 
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
intresting! welcome to passions please check your mail for a special greeting. robin |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
My response is going to be an odd one, just to forwarn you.  Why? Because I've got some salt along with some sugar. I loved your style, the ryhme that is you, that flow and meter that is you, and just the sound and smell of your poem is one I enjoy.  Thing is, this poem doesn't make much sense to me at all. Also, it seems to jump around - there's no flow to the story you're painting as a writer. Good and bad. Pros and cons. Looking forward to more of your work. Sincerely, Titus As I'm out there, walking, searching, for myself, for you.... won't you join me? Let's walk this journey together. [This message has been edited by PoetryIsLife (07-03-2002 12:52 AM).] |
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Deep_Inside Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 377i can't stop hiding |
welcome i liked this poem. it says a lot. thanks for the read hope to see more |
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