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Utopic State
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Utopic State |
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Tomer Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168Michigan |
Droplets trickle down A spine of uneven length Uncertainty no longer an elusion Eyes glisten with hope Vines green with envy Strong and brash leaping like never before One, Two, Three The green is shelter Illusion is reality Utopia, I have arrived By: Tomer Fried [This message has been edited by Tomer (06-28-2002 09:31 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Tomer Fried - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Winston Froom Junior Member
since 2001-11-28
Posts 32 |
Sir Thomas More would've been rather dissapointed, Mr. Fried. His Majesty Henry VIII would've been delighted though. |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
An interesting free-verse (and no, not in the sense of having an awful impact). I thought it was refreshing. Question though: What are Elyes? ^^ And how, may I ask, can green be shelter if the vines are green with envy? Is envy comforting? I'm just curious. ^^; I enjoyed the last two lines. Welcome to PIP, by the way. ^_^ Always glad to have a new writer here! Keep it up! I look forward to more from you. Leah |
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Tomer Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168Michigan |
That is meant to say Eyes.....just a typo, sorry. The envy is my shelter, enabling to see everything around me. I appreciate your comments. Tomer |
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