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Marshalzu
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0 posted 2002-06-27 05:27 PM


I'm by no means a regular poster, well not anymore, I've had a bit of a decline in my confidence due to a decrease in the quality of my poetry. I still refuse to rewrite my work incase I lose any of the emotion or the edge of the peice I have written which has lead to me posting less and less of my work. So anyway this is an attempt to get back into shape, it's not to my usual standard (or so I think) but I'm kind of happy with it.

The Decline

Railways run out of track
Money hits a branch line terminal
Signaling a new decline
The stench, the dirt, the rust

Crowded Carriages with nothing to express
Expect locomotives without drive
Shunted in to sidings
They decay, rot and decompose

Express trains race to nowhere
And are inevitably delayed
Stopping at a terminal
Railways run out of track


Andrew

"Pretend inferiority and encourage his arrogance."

Sun Tzu

© Copyright 2002 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved
cutiepiesugarbabie
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since 2002-06-07
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A Cloud In the Sky
1 posted 2002-06-27 05:42 PM


good write

o*~Everyone makes mistakes-get over them and make more tomorrow!~*o

Skyfire
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2 posted 2002-06-28 12:44 PM


*thinks* It's different from what I'm used to reading from you, but hey - at least you're posting. At this point in time you're doing way better than I, and if you're happy with it, then that's all that matters, right? Right. At least you're not running around getting people pissed off at you.  *looks around innocently*
*sigh* I've missed reading your poems. I really have. Don't force it though. If your muse is taking a vacation, don't try and force it to come back; when it's ready, it'll come.
Your writing is great all the time, Love. Don't stop, okay?

chasing rain
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since 2001-05-15
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3 posted 2002-06-30 04:06 PM


MarshalZu-

I was hoping you would be posting again. ^^ Good to have you back.
In a way, this piece reflects the nature of humanity (well, some of us anyway), as everyone has a decline in life. Interesting how you used trains to depict this. May I ask why? ^^
Like Rhonda said, don't push your muse (I shouldn't talk heehee...), just let it come naturally. ^^; Works better that way. (bribe your muse...^_^)

Thanks for the read!


Leah
Marshalzu
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4 posted 2002-06-30 05:07 PM


I have used trains to depict the decline of hopes, dreams, etc because the British rail system is and has been in long term decline, poor service, poor conditions and generally disheartening to all who use it, plus for those that don't read so deeply into the poem (and lets be honest the message is pretty obvious) then it will seem as though it is Only a comment on the British rail system.

Anyway this peice was only really just meant to get me into the rythmn of writing again, I kind of feel that I've forgotten how to write poetry, lack of confidence in my own ability is probably the chief cause but maybe someone has kidnapped my muse, if this is the case, where is the ransom note?

Andrew

"Pretend inferiority and encourage his arrogance."

Sun Tzu

Skyfire
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5 posted 2002-07-01 12:47 PM


I'll send it right away. Dammit, I knew I had forgotten something!
punkrockerrobin
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Sparks, NV
6 posted 2002-07-03 04:34 AM


hey nice write thanks for sharin. hi drew! i really liked this one

http://cgi6.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewSellersOtherItems&userid=hardcorerobin&include=0&since=-1&sort=3&rows=25

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