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Teen Poetry #5
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Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl

0 posted 2002-06-13 01:55 PM


Deep within
my eyes, a sigh-
a frightened little
soul.
And tears do tread
as lips they lie-
while telling you
to go.
And this small child,
alive in my-
weakened, crumpled,
frame;
Speaks it true
when she does try-
for your heart
to aim.

Way back, I posted this in some other forum, but I think statute of double posts limitations is up
Constructive comments welcome.

Why is it that we are at our most ingenius only when trying to destroy the things that keep us alive and thriving?

© Copyright 2002 Jennifer Parker - All Rights Reserved
Dark Enchantress
Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258
meet Morgana
1 posted 2002-06-13 09:47 PM


I actually really, really liked this.. which is rare. I'm not picky. I've just got thick skin. It's not necessarily a creative subject (inner child) but it's used in a way that's creative (at least in my interpretation). Which is another thing.. it's rather clear on how you're feeling and thinking yet the poem itself is open to different interpretations, ideas, and feelings. Yay.

[Jaime]

"I think I would like to call myself 'the girl who wanted to be God'." Sylvia Plath

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
2 posted 2002-06-17 05:20 PM


this is amazing
i'm totally speechlaess right now
*standing ovation*

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.


songsoftheaftermath
Member
since 2002-06-19
Posts 84
a world of disarray
3 posted 2002-06-27 02:22 AM


hehehe...sorry but i wasnt totally blown away by this...but it did bring a sad smile to my face..cuz it is kinda sad. seeing yourself as a child but wary isnt all too nice. all things said and done though, it was an enjoyable read. thanks for sharing jenn...

by the looks of it- yer STILL a child!

could the darkness be my friend?

Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
4 posted 2002-06-28 02:14 PM


I was very much impressed by this piece....I think we can all relate a little bit to what you said.
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