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Teen Poetry #5
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inspiredpoetwriter
Member
since 2002-01-05
Posts 104
Minnesota

0 posted 2002-06-05 04:57 PM


Here's a new one ya'll will like! tell me wut ya'll thought..

Shanks,

-Ang-

Title: Today SomeBody 'd Me...


Today somebody loved me
That somebody was you.
I never though I’d find my true love
My heart picked you.
Today somebody loved me
That somebody was you.
In my room I cry sad tears &
Once again your hear
Wiping them away.
Today somebody loved me
That somebody was you.
You bring magic that melts
My heart.
Today somebody loved me
That somebody was you.
Kiss of passion that keep me
Very close to you.
Today somebody loved me
That somebody was you.
Dreams that come at night
Baby I never want them to end.
Today somebody loved me
That somebody was you.
Your smile brightens the
Blue morning sky.
Today somebody loved me
That somebody was you.
Arms around me keep me secure
And locked in tight.
Today somebody loved me
That somebody was you.
On the milky way we
Ride the waves.
Today somebody loved me
That somebody was you.
As I write this I mean
'It all from my heart.
Today somebody loved me
That somebody was you.
You gave me all the
Things I wanted you
Made my wishes come true.
Today somebody loved me
That somebody was you.
Roses red show you care
White ones mean that
You’ll always be there.
Today somebody loved me
That somebody was you.
Wind whispersyour name
In my ears I close my
Eyes & pray to
Stay your love
Your wife
Your whole entire
Life.
Today somebody loved me
That somebody was you.


By: Me...


¥¤¥¤¥¥¤¥¤¥iM a PoEt WhO wRiTeZ Wit HeR Heart ¥¤¥¤¥¥¤¥¤¥

© Copyright 2002 Care - All Rights Reserved
Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
1 posted 2002-06-06 10:10 AM


a lil too much repetition but still a good read
i just believe repetitions are better with shorter poems
thanks for sharing, keep em coming

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.


Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2002-06-06 05:00 PM


I enjoyed the poem a lot! I'll have to agree with acire on the repetition. Usually repetitions are to add effect, but too much effect can get...well a bit too much.
Anyhow, the poem was good....but can you explain why white roses mean a person stays there? I didn't get that

Hope to read more!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
3 posted 2002-06-09 07:31 PM


I agree with the guys above on the repetition but all in all i enjoyed it lots and glad that you found love I wish you the best with this person

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby

aVriL lAvIgNe

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
4 posted 2002-07-08 10:52 PM



inspiredpoetwriter-
I really enjoyed reading this piece.  
You've included some lovely thoughts here.
Well done.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
5 posted 2002-07-10 12:30 PM


Love it muchly!
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