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Teen Poetry #5
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tzaddiqim
Junior Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 15


0 posted 2002-05-19 02:20 PM


When I look at you laugh,
I feel my heart lighten,
A flutter of an emotion,
Something strong inside me,
Trying to break free of chains,
Chains that I put in place,
That you broke for me, at last.

You set me free, we have so little time
I have so much to offer, I have so much to give.
I want to give it.


© Copyright 2002 tzaddiqim - All Rights Reserved
Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
1 posted 2002-05-19 02:22 PM


This poem was very intersting. Breaking free is amazing, its like no other feeling. because you know your free.
well keep up the good work
Regina

Who iis she
Junior Member
since 2002-05-14
Posts 41
Some where over the rainbow
2 posted 2002-05-19 08:33 PM


I dont know how i feel about this poem its kind of short and a tiny bit confussing so i dunno.

Τ׺·. .·º ËriÇ康. .·º×¤Î
"Its your body use it because someday your going to lose it"-Jeff hardy

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
3 posted 2002-05-19 10:07 PM


hi tzaddiqim,

i am curious here: why would the couple have "too little time?"

i liked the last line:short, concise and assertive

tzaddiqim
Junior Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 15

4 posted 2002-05-20 01:07 PM


We have little time because in September I go to London and she goes to Edinburgh, currently we're in school.

And it was supposed to be a little confusing, to reflect the feelings involved in the situation.

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
5 posted 2002-05-20 10:52 PM


hi again

I'm sorry to hear that..i hope that both of you can create some beautiful memories together so that if you go your separate ways, these memories will serve as a legacy to what once was...

if you need to talk, i'm always here, listening...

always,
faterider
hkaile@hotmail.com

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