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Who iis she
Junior Member

since 2002-05-14

Posts 41
Some where over the rainbow

0 posted 2002-05-16 06:56 PM

My name is jessie i am only but 3
Me i am always sad
Daddy comes home he always smells bad
My mom always asks how many drinks he has had
he walks to her with a bit of care
I just stand there, watch and stare
He punchs her and Smacks her to a wall
He walks to mepushes me on to the floor
I hope to god this wont happen any more
As mommy lies in a pool of blood i hope that she is sent up above.
He hits me so hard i close my eyes
and dream about beautiful skys
I open my eyes and swint alot
i hope my daddy will just stop
as i look around i see white lights
i am ok now, i put up a good fight
I have left the hospital room
i will see my mommy real soon.
My name is jessie i am only but 3
and tonight my daddy murdered me.

Î¤×º·. .·º ËriÇåº·. .·º×¤Î

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member

since 1999-07-27

Posts 1258
meet Morgana

1 posted 2002-05-16 07:09 PM

To be honest I wasn't really liking it at first. Good topic, but I just wasn't liking the rhyming and such very much. However, towards the middle of the poem and definitely the ending I was just like, "wow". High five. My heart goes out to all the 'Jessie's of the world.

Cheer up. It could be worse. You could be a lima bean. And I could be eating you.

CowgirlFreedom17
Member

since 2002-05-20

Posts 82
Mississippi

2 posted 2002-05-20 10:08 AM

Very good write. A taste of true reality about abuse. It's out there more than we like to think. This made my heart ache for the abused ones.

Don't hold back the words you really mean.

devil_tongue
Member

since 2000-03-02

Posts 50

3 posted 2002-05-20 10:17 AM

This reads like I've seen it somewhere before. Anyhow, I didn't really enjoy it all that much. The rhyme scheme felt out of place and the imagery didn't match the flow of the piece. Just a personal opinion nonetheless.

Dunphy
Member

since 2002-03-14

Posts 82
Massachusetts USA

4 posted 2002-05-20 02:17 PM

sad i hope things will turn out alrigh for you pray to the man up stairs he will guid ur way trust me. i enjoyed the read keep them commin.

Angel
Senior Member

since 1999-07-02

Posts 551
Pennsylvania

5 posted 2002-05-20 10:10 PM

I thought the rhyme scheme felt out of place as well. I liked the topic and how you approached it though. It reminds me of one of my older poems that I my post at a later date. Anyway, great read.

~Susie

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