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Teen Poetry #5
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layla
Member
since 2000-11-19
Posts 74


0 posted 2002-05-03 06:11 PM



Paint a picture
of a girl with peircing eyes
make it so you wont forget her
even if you only see it one time
add stones in the background
and dead bodies on the floor
don't forget the f 16's that killed them
in this hell of a war
Paint the sky gray
as if it was about to thunder
as if the world was going to flip
and suddenly go under
paint what is left of this run-down land
show what happens
when the oppressed take a stand
Paint their beacon- the star
on a feild of blue and white
and paint with it the blood shed
it has caused so many lives
Paint one of the millions of mothers
who has lost their sons
husbands and brothers
Oh paint this girl
who has been raped a million times
frame it on a wall
And call her Palestine

© Copyright 2002 layla - All Rights Reserved
dastard
Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 55
in tearing silence
1 posted 2002-05-04 02:53 AM


very deep and meaningful.. and indeed nicely done! I don't have to paint the picture 'cos you did it for me.. very strong! I enjoy it loads!

"Pain doesn't hurt when it's all you've ever felt" ~Marie, the girl of a thousand truths           

Salooma
Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

2 posted 2002-05-05 10:03 AM


Wow layla...this was beautiful writing.
Very emotional to me of course but a great read!!!! You should do something with this one....ideas later.

ttyl....beautiful again

Salma

Mon Cherie
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922
Land of Never-ending Summers
3 posted 2002-05-05 12:00 PM


Layla,

This is a really meaningful work, and it has succeeded in leaving a deep impression in me.

It started out like an ordinary piece... a painting of a girl... then suspense builds as each phrase gives a better discription of the picture, until "bam" the final impact comes...

It IS a wonderful, yet tragically sad piece.

_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

Cinderelly
Member
since 2001-12-31
Posts 189
NM, USA
4 posted 2002-05-07 01:15 AM


All I can say is: Wow!

Life is a moderately good play w/ a badly written thrid act. - Unknown

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