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LCBS
Senior Member

since 2001-11-29

Posts 532
Connecticut

0 posted 2002-04-21 11:09 PM

Oh how I long to hold the sea
With the walls of my memory
And keep it there in all its fame
Hold it in my picture frame
It can’t escape my minds fingers
So there is sits, there it lingers
backing up with mindless waves
rising water, it saves and saves
one day my sanity’s barrier will shatter
with nothing left but simple tatters
the ocean back within its home
waiting to capture, waiting to roam
Oh how I long to hold the sea
With the walls of my memory

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

1 posted 2002-04-22 10:23 AM

Hi Lisa.

A much enjoyed piece.

I love the sea. Have you ever heard "Cool Breeze" by Little River Band? You'd like it.

"It can’t escape my minds fingers"

Mind's fingers caused me to stumble. I might change that to where it flowed a bit more. Perhaps "It can't escape my mind's eye." Something with out too 's'.

"rising water, it saves and saves
one day my sanity’s barrier will shatter
with nothing left but simple tatters"

Are you saying your sanity will shatter because the ocean will leave? Or your sanity will shatter, and the ocean will be your escape?

A much enjoyed piece. Now email me!

Sincerely,
Titus

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convinience, but where he stands at times of challange and controversy.

[This message has been edited by PoetryIsLife (04-22-2002 10:24 AM).]

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

2 posted 2002-04-22 11:23 AM

This was great Lisa!! I think everyone has something they wish they could capture for all eternity and put away in a picture frame etc...great job on this

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

LCBS
Senior Member

since 2001-11-29

Posts 532
Connecticut

3 posted 2002-04-22 02:46 PM

Titus my man...

Im not really sure what it means...all I know is that when I was on the ocean this past week...nothing bothered me. I could care less about back at home, everyhting I needed was there. It was so peaceful and relaxing...

The ocean would be my escape I guess....I'll think about it and get back to you

~Lisa

skyshine

Member Elite

since 2002-02-07

Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars

4 posted 2002-04-23 09:56 PM

This is beautifully done. I agree with Sugarhigh, every one of us has something we'd like to hold in our hearts forever. Good work.

~sky

I'm in charge, and I say question authority!

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