navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » As I fall
Teen Poetry #5
Post A Reply Post New Topic As I fall Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2002-04-21 03:40 PM


You hold me in your arms
as I f
       a
         l
          l
further into this little
fantasy world
where I can't see where
I'm going
I can only see
where I've been
and I'm scared.

You bury me in your world
as I f
       a
         l
          l
deeper into love with you
I don't know
what I'm doing
what you want
where I'm going
I can never see any further
than tomorrow.

You catch me in your arms
as I f
       a
         l
          l
and I melt into you
we're one
instead of the two
seperate ones
we used to be
when you were alone
and I was far gone.

You cuddle me in your soul
as I f
        a
          l
            l
deeper away
from what I used to be
and closer to
what I'm meant to be
tho I'm scared
you'll be right there
next to me.

You hold me in your arms
as I f
       a
         l
          l
and I wonder
if this is what love is
to melt into you
and I wonder
would you be there
to catch me
as I fall?

© Copyright 2002 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
LCBS
Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532
Connecticut
1 posted 2002-04-21 10:23 PM


awesome....

I especially loved the format...real cool

content was great too

GOOD WRITE

~Lisa

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
2 posted 2002-04-22 11:17 AM


Awesome poem and awesome format...the whole thing was jus awesome   Thanks for sharing!!

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

never_a_princess
Member
since 2001-06-09
Posts 82
Show Me the Money
3 posted 2002-05-08 05:49 PM


excelente. very nicely written. lovely flow to it, with the "falling" theme. liked it lotsa lotsa.
__o0o_AnnA_o0o__

Friends r angels who lift u 2 ur feet when ur wings have trouble remembering how 2 fly.
Stumbling blox can b stepping stones if u allow them 2 b.

Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
4 posted 2002-05-11 12:12 PM


Very nifty.

And as to the situation- this sounds all too familiar. I have the worst outlook on love and relationships, so I won't share my opinions and depress you all But yeah, suffice it to say love is scary.

Jenn

"I can't get you out of my head- your love is all I think about."

Mon Cherie
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922
Land of Never-ending Summers
5 posted 2002-05-11 12:46 PM


Yeah. This is all so sweet, Allysa! Well done...

I esp like the part
"we're one
instead of the two
seperate ones"

Coz I think, being in love, is finding you other half. The two of you are no longer individuals, even though you may not spend all your time together. You can understand each other really well, in a creepy way that it seems almost as though one of you have spoken aloud, and the other had heard the thought. That's love?

_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

MidnightSon
Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 312
between the gutter & the stars
6 posted 2002-05-15 01:34 AM


i like the visual poetry as much as the meaning of all the words.
beautiful thoughts and very creative style.
if he's caught you all those times before, he'll surely catch you again.

*ahh* young love.

...all the good themes have been turned into theme parks.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » As I fall

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary