navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Horses
Teen Poetry #5
Post A Reply Post New Topic Horses Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Dark Enchantress
Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258
meet Morgana

0 posted 2002-04-08 07:39 PM


There were some horses
galloping on by with no
one to ride and some
ivy twirling around in the bedroom
all alone and it
reminds me of your smell
I would like to stay here
like a ghost, he says I'm
like a ghost -
and I would stay here
and give you kisses in the
evening like a good wife
should but I am untame
and a forest thing, so
my hips you will bruise but
keep them not, you will lose
to the horses galloping
on by looking for someone
to ride


"I never claimed to be your savior
I said I had a dirty mouth
Stop analyzing my behavior
If you’re too dumb to work it out"
Garbage

[This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (04-08-2002 07:40 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Morgana - All Rights Reserved
PoetryIsLife
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763
...in my boxers...
1 posted 2002-04-08 07:50 PM




I love the idea of the horses, riding by... perhaps they are a new fascination, perhaps they are a new train of thought.... there is always something new to ride, if you're looking for it. Far too often we let the horses ride by, do we not?

"and a forest thing, so
my hips you will bruise but
keep them not, you will lose
to the horses galloping
on by looking for someone
to ride"

You love of new things overpowers the love you have, no? The last three lines, I love in particular. Galloping is such a vivid word.

Another great one, Memina. Oh, before I forget, did you mean to type "Untamed" or "untame"?

~ Mon Verite

"Tesous Christos, Theou Uios, Soter"

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258
meet Morgana
2 posted 2002-04-08 08:56 PM


I mean "untame". I was describing myself, not him or the situation that might have had a taming effect on me but didn't.

The ideas actually came from his home. There's horses nearby, ivy in his bedroom, and when I was walking through the house one night his father said that I'm like a ghost.


"I never claimed to be your savior
I said I had a dirty mouth
Stop analyzing my behavior
If you’re too dumb to work it out"
Garbage

[This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (04-08-2002 08:57 PM).]

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
3 posted 2002-04-09 11:06 AM


Great poem really enjoyed reading it!!

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
4 posted 2002-04-09 01:48 PM



~and give you kisses in the
evening like a good wife
should but I am untame
and a forest thing, so
my hips you will bruise but
keep them not, you will lose
to the horses galloping
on by looking for someone
to ride~

Reminds me of the Pink song...
"Can't take me home to momma cause she wouldn't think I proper...should've thought about that before you....with me.."

This is really good... I'm loving your work.

Jenn

"I can't get you out of my head- your love is all I think about."

BrokenAngel
Member
since 2002-01-06
Posts 141
Puryear, TN, USA
5 posted 2002-04-09 06:59 PM


I love how you used horses in this one(I love horses!!) Really good way to describe the way you feel inside.  Wonderful work!!

~*~*~Night Angel~*~*~

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
6 posted 2002-04-10 10:42 AM


You've portrayed a very clear picture here. The ties between everything were presented really well, too...Made me think. It was much enjoyed.

  ~Carly

"Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions."
  ~David Borenstein

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Horses

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary