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Isle of Solitude v2
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Isle of Solitude v2 |
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PoetryIsLife 
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... 
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I stand alone, in the dry, parched ground. Looking around, seeing nothing but dust; dust, wind, and earth. The sand flows through my fingers, the wind blows it all around me. The downward spiral of the chaos reflects the inwards of my mind. Yet here, standing on this ground, alone on this Isle of Solitude, I feel a peace, a calm. The silence, the solitude, the dust and sand. They allow time to think, time to feel and breath, to sense the hot earth flowing down my throat. I am alive, I am willing... willing to fight this battle, the battle of life. Because, I know, I will always have the Isle of Solitude. 4/7/02 |
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| © Copyright 2002 Daniel Redding - All Rights Reserved | |||
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
 Here is volume one, for those of you who wonder what the '2' is for.  /pip/Forum49/HTML/002991.html I know I am wandering from the path of rhyme, for the path if imegry, but I feel those paths can become one, if I allow time, and room to grow. So, please bear with the lack of rhyme. It will come.  ~ Titus "Tesous Christos, Theou Uios, Soter" [This message has been edited by PoetryIsLife (04-08-2002 05:03 PM).] |
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Kielo Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109 |
Actually, I was going to complain that there was rhyme at all... In the second and third lines, you finished with "ground", then "around". It threw me off, because I expected rhyme. Then you said "ground" again later, and my mind immediately expected the word "around" to finish the next line, but it didn't. Personally, I can't rhyme at all. So I make sure nothing that I write rhymes. I read over every line... lol...  I also missed the reference to your Maker from the first one. Maybe its just me, but I think I liked the first one better. So, what about that rain check? Kielo I LOVE YOU! *kisses you* hehehe... |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
Hey. It's me again. *waves from a distance* Well, well, well... this is a wonderful continuation (if thats what it is.. lol I'm confused now) of the first one, it's VERY good! Just had to come and say that. Bye! After Love comes Pain, then Love, Then Pain, then Love, then Pain..... does anyone else see a pattern here? Oh well, can't say it's not worth it. |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
I liked the first one better I think because it was entirely original, where as this one had a platform upon which it was based. I think you were trying to continue with a style that you liked, but were unsure of where to go with it so you extended what you had already done. Am I right? I've had poems/moments like that where I liked something so much that I wanted to continue. I never did though. Call it a subconscious lack of committal abilities embedded in my mental make-up.  Hmm.. do I smell a trend? Anywho, I didn't say that I didn't like it. I DO like it. Once again the imagery was very interesting and provoking in this poem. I liked that it didn't rhyme because I think in general at times rhymes can throw off the honest flow of a good idea. I never rhyme because I don't want to risk thinking of something good and then forgetting it because of fiddling with rhyming. (I have the memory of a 92 year old.) I also just like to let things come out naturally. If I ever rhyme it's because it just came out that way. *shrugs* I kept picturing this man out in the desert with dry skin and chapped lips and blisters on his feet... but he keeps walking and surviving because that's all he knows how to do (as opposed to giving up or waiting to be saved). Thanks. As usual, I enjoyed reading your work."I never claimed to be your savior I said I had a dirty mouth Stop analyzing my behavior If you’re too dumb to work it out" Garbage [This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (04-08-2002 10:43 PM).] |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Kielo, sorry for throwing you off. And... every line? *steps outside* Nope, not raining here. HRG, *waves back from a distance* Yes, it is a contunation of sorts... I'll explain in a second... Memina  "I liked the first one better I think because it was entirely original, where as this one had a platform upon which it was based. I think you were trying to continue with a style that you liked, but were unsure of where to go with it so you extended what you had already done. Am I right?" Yes, and no. I might call it a platform.... yes, that's a good term. And, indeed, I love the style. But I wasn't unsure of where to go with it.... I desired to continue to scene I was painting with my words. The scene is indeed still pertinent, so I wanted to continue it till it no longer was. Otherwise, it wouldn't be real and personal. I see 4 or 5 volumes of it down the road. We'll see where it goes. I believe, in the end, I'll combine them all into one single entity, since, really, that's what it truely is... a continuation of itself. "I never rhyme because I don't want to risk thinking of something good and then forgetting it because of fiddling with rhyming." If the rhyming is coming naturally, I write what's in my head, and if I see fit, go back and work on it, inserting rhyme. That I think is the true test of a poet.... fitting rhyme into a mass of words... so you get the truth, the feelings, the passion, into an organized and flowing piece of poetry. But poetry is poetry, wheter it is rhymed or not. "I kept picturing this man out in the desert with dry skin and chapped lips and blisters on his feet... but he keeps walking and surviving because that's all he knows how to do (as opposed to giving up or waiting to be saved)." And while he is walking, and surviving, he is learning... learning more about life, and most importantly, about himself. *nods* ~ Titus "Tesous Christos, Theou Uios, Soter" |
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Kielo Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109 |
 Don't make me say it! That's MEAN! ... Actually, you offered, so I don't know if you want me to say anything... if you don't care, fine... That works too.Come on, you coming here, or should I go there? lol...  That first paragraph made no sense, did it? Kielo I LOVE YOU! *kisses you* hehehe... |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Yes, yes, I too see this pooem as a fine platform of installments to come, for to me the protagonist in this is on an excursion or a life journey for himself, thus this piece marks another bold step in the achievements of wisdom he will receive soon! (big hugggssssss) I can't wait to see what follows, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Daniel, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
You created an awesome picture with your wonderful imagery!!! You did a fantastic job on this one Thanks for sharing ti!iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf.. |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
*pouts cause I didnt' get a sneak peak* No just kidding. You know I love your work Ti. I dont' know what else to say (may be the lack of sleep, hmmm?), but I love it. *hugs* I am a geek!! |
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