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ericaisamonkey
Member

since 2002-04-04

Posts 51
A little town north of nowhere

0 posted 2002-04-06 08:34 PM

Screaming parents, watery eyes
Uncontrollable shaking, absent mind
Cigarette burning, smoke filled room
Loud music, vibrating windows
The house is a mess, I need to clean my room
My mind is flying solo, no body connected to it
Unspeakable fantasies, horrible nightmares
What is my soul hiding from?
I can't do anything, stare off blankly
This is so new to me
I wonder what's happening
You're on my mind, I can't stop thinking
Why did you do this to me?
You make it seem as though nothing happened
Water running, cool breezes
The scent of fresh air, fire burning in the distance
The sun shines when it rains
What is that about?
Sick thoughts fill my head
White sheets, red stains
What the hell is happening?
A sigh of relief, memory flashbacks
Take a step outside, bathe in the sunshine
Feel the warmth of the breeze
And just know,
I'm still here waiting by the apple trees.

*Erica*

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

1 posted 2002-04-06 10:37 PM

hey erica,
welcome to passions, it is a pretty cool place. this is a really interesting post, and i felt the need to read it twice in order to take all of the wonderful imagery in. you did this well, and i can't find any fault with it. thank you for sharing this, and i hope to see more of you.
-bergundy-

maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio-

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

2 posted 2002-04-07 12:39 PM

Erica, I love ur style... Just like, images all running together to creat one big picture... It's awesome. The imagery in this is great, you can see all these different things... Keep postin, girl.

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

3 posted 2002-04-08 03:29 AM

Whoa, imagery overload!

Erica, this is a really good piece. I love your last line. It sums the whole thing up so nicely and perfectly. Parts of this piece raised a couple of eyebrows with me because I think I know what they're in reference to but other than that, well done on such an amazing write.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing.

~AF~

"Sometimes the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy." - Susanna Kaysen

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member

since 1999-07-27

Posts 1258
meet Morgana

4 posted 2002-04-08 07:24 PM

Welcome to Passions.

I really enjoyed reading this poem. I love your style and how you express yourself. This form in particular seemed like a thousand memories and images of one specific event or time period flashing through your mind and towards the end it comes to a calm point, yet all that has past has definitely left it's mark on your soul.

Thank you so much for sharing this.

DE

"I never claimed to be your savior
I said I had a dirty mouth
Stop analyzing my behavior
If you’re too dumb to work it out"
Garbage

[This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (04-08-2002 07:27 PM).]

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

5 posted 2002-04-09 09:52 PM

I enjoyed this a lot erica. You really gave the reader a nice image of what was going on and how you feel. I hope he meets you by the apple trees

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

6 posted 2002-04-09 10:01 PM

i really like the concept of the piece, and where you're going with it.  the imagery is amazing.

it reminds me of an 'experience' i had had.  a thousand and twelve memories jumbled all together, no way to explain them or sort through them.  they're all just THERE.

thanks for the read.

/jen/

so foul and fair a day i have not seen.  - macbeth act 1, scene 3

[This message has been edited by quietlydying (04-09-2002 10:04 PM).]

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