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Teen Poetry #5
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fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

0 posted 2002-03-18 01:02 AM


frustration
is the word
that scurries
on the walls
of my brain.
while thinking that
i have to be
the most difficult
human being
that i know.
life is so sad
yet so am i
but i dont think
that matters
right now.
the only thing i know
is that
you are my soul.
but you are
also the reason i
laugh while crying
and live while sighing.
i know
right now
that i
can't
do this
anymore.

maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio-

© Copyright 2002 bergundy - All Rights Reserved
punkrockerrobin
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
1 posted 2002-03-18 01:10 AM


awesome emmotion i loved it!!!tks for the read.
Robin

i am me don't tell me different!!
JEFF IS ONE HOT STUD *RAWR*
i want him *DROOLZ*
dam hes hott!!!

Kielo
Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

2 posted 2002-03-18 12:26 PM


Wow. Very nice emotion. I think maybe the lines should be a little longer. The way they are the poem sounds broken, but just a suggestion. Overall, the poem was amazing. I know how you feel... I went through a year of hell for one person. Hope things look up for you.

Never argue with a fool. He may be doing the same thing.

LCBS
Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532
Connecticut
3 posted 2002-03-18 01:54 PM


I agree with Kielo about the lines, but I thought that it was an awesome peice, and it really showed what you were feeling...Great job...

~Lisa

Dunphy
Member
since 2002-03-14
Posts 82
Massachusetts USA
4 posted 2002-03-18 02:43 PM


i like ur poem you did a great job i hope you can write some more an post it i will take some time off and read it you are a magnifisent poet. i hope you can take some time and read some of mine i have some in teen 5 and open 19. well i hope you will write some more. well i thought i would reply and tell you how i tohught of ur writting.

love kevin reid
aka dunphy 18 m massachusetts

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258
meet Morgana
5 posted 2002-03-18 04:19 PM


I don't often find poems that I actually like, let alone love, but this one I really love. The style, the emotion, the honesty... all of it. Thank you very much for posting this.

Me

"The most beautiful makeup for a woman is passion, but cosmetics are easier to buy." - Yves Saint Laurent

turningthepage.blogspot.com

quietlydying
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz
6 posted 2002-03-19 08:36 PM


don't touch the lines.  i think they're just fine the way they are.

after all, you made it that way for a reason, right?

i'm digging it.

/gwen/

so foul and fair a day i have not seen.  - macbeth act 1, scene 3

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258
meet Morgana
7 posted 2002-03-19 10:10 PM


I like the lines the way they are too. I forgot to mention that before. It's part of what gives the poem it's charm... or whatever the hell you want to call it.

"The most beautiful makeup for a woman is passion, but cosmetics are easier to buy." - Yves Saint Laurent

Cela passera.

turningthepage.blogspot

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