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Teen Poetry #5
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Reflection upon eyes: Eyes upon reflection
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Reflection upon eyes: Eyes upon reflection |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... 
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each is a poem on its own, and then a poem overall. it might be hard to read and follow...so if you dont have the time click "next" and away you go  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Reflection upon eyes: Eyes upon reflection (i) Reflections of her ghost Trapped within raindrops Brings tears to the mongrels Eyes (ii) Seek and ye shalt nought find What thou lustily covets For Hate’s dust doth render thee blind” (iii) Puddles of yesterday’s cries Fill today’s canvas of thought Bringing with it the doubly folded mirrors Forged maliciously as her parents fought (iv) “I see Love in thy eyes Open your heart so that I may Drink and dance ‘round Flowing fountains therein” (v) Touch the looking glass Feel its cold Steal the bloodied warmth From your finger Tips Stare into its icy being Your opposite soul Your opposite soul Your opposite being Bending composite pieces of you Watch it shatter Capturing bro ken pieces of you (vi) “Kinsfolk! Keep kind hearts close To thy own And let not the eyes of Anger Befall upon them” (vii) Curse the reflection Of her hollow eyes Each bearing witness to the Decay of her soul’s cold corpse. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Zombie |
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| © Copyright 2002 cherish - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Wow !!! As usual you poetry has gone straight over my head, I tried to interpet the meanings of the poems bit by bit but wow. You have such an incredible talent and once again you have shown how well you can write Thank you for sharing these incredible poems with us.Andrew "The pin didn't drop it came and crashed down" |
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dastard Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 55in tearing silence |
whatever devil drove me to check Teen5 is now owed a favor from me.. greaters than great!  this is way cool and rocks all the way... I can't tell seperately what I liked because I L*O*V*E*D it in its whole!"Pain doesn't hurt when it's all you've ever felt" ~Marie, the girl of a thousand truths |
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-Queth- Junior Member
since 2002-02-10
Posts 35Canada |
I have never read such a poem as this! This is truely a work of art that goes beyond words. It reminds me of a dream, or moreso, and everlasting dream. I liked the contrast between the (I guess you could say) old English, and (I feel politically incorrect saying this) normal English. The depth and the subtle peace brought out a richly framed poem of parts that mirrored each other in its own unique way. I really enjoyed this! Be proud of this! -smiles- Q.u.e.t.h. Everything in between. [This message has been edited by -Queth- (03-13-2002 02:49 PM).] |
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Kielo Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109 |
I have only this to say - I'm speechless.  |
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Aerhercnian Junior Member
since 2002-03-14
Posts 10Listening |
I really enjoyed the read And there stood Aechercnian silent and calm listening to the trees. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
'ello chicka.  nice to see you posting again. Reading your work is always an enjoyable experience. These are no exception of course. Very creative of you to create a series of little poems rather than running them all together as such. Now as for the meanings, tell me how I go. Reflections of her ghost Trapped within raindrops Brings tears to the mongrels Eyes Reflections of your ghost is you looking back through sorrow. The tears in the mongrels eyes is either an opinion of yourself or of someone that is often sparked to crying from your words. I think this could be an alterantive version of you. (ii) Seek and ye shalt nought find What thou lustily covets For Hate’s dust doth render thee blind” Hate is obviously blinding the truth in this case. Someone's doing something naughty (I think I know who) and the hate being expressed by someone is clouding their judgement. (iii) Puddles of yesterday’s cries Fill today’s canvas of thought Bringing with it the doubly folded mirrors Forged maliciously as her parents fought Yesterdays cries is yesterdays pain. Canvas of thought is pretty straight forward. Doubly folded mirrors being the two faced arguments that your parents cause when they fight thus resulting in the cries becomming louder. (iv) “I see Love in thy eyes Open your heart so that I may Drink and dance ‘round Flowing fountains therein” Someone's saying open up to love. Either you said this to a person or they said it to you. Yes, do what they say.  v) Touch the looking glass Feel its cold Steal the bloodied warmth From your finger Tips Stare into its icy being Your opposite soul Your opposite soul Your opposite being Bending composite pieces of you Watch it shatter Capturing bro ken pieces of you I always think of looking pieces are the future. (interpretation will be wrong. )You're looking into what may come and aren't finding much comfort in it. The icy beings could be those around you bringing about the discomfort. Opposite soul being who you were. You've changed and the perception about the looking glass shows this. The breaking and bending is your way of saying you're bending for everyone else and there is only so far a person can stretch. The looking glass watches this, notes this and "captures" in that your feelings and notions will be recorded in time. (vi) “Kinsfolk! Keep kind hearts close To thy own And let not the eyes of Anger Befall upon them” Someone's angry and trying to attack your heart. Be strong. Keep them and their evilness out.  (vii) Curse the reflection Of her hollow eyes Each bearing witness to the Decay of her soul’s cold corpse. Finally you see all that has come. Your reflection is who you once were and what you have become in the same instance. You've seen horror and watched yourself fade from view. The corpse is not a physical image but more mental. Your mind is dying, your feelings are lying down. Ok, I can assure you that a hell of a lot of those would be wrong. It's late.  I did enjoy them. You've written this with such a ferocity that it's mindblowing. Be proud. I'll email you a little later on. *MUA!* ~AF~ "Sometimes the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy." - Susanna Kaysen |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Whoa.....cherish....girl...this was fantastic!!! Speechless..totally speechless.. iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf.. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
andy- im glad you tried deciphering it (it took me a while to as well...so we're both in the same boat ) , oh and you dont have to thank me...thank YOU for reading!custard- its YOUR turn to post something here now...do it quick smart! Queth- wow! thanks for the praise...  your reply alone was enough to make my head swell to gigantic proportions...thanks again, it was really sweet of you.Kielo- POST SOMETHING OF YOURS NOW!!  Aerhercnian- glad you took the time to read lizzy- wow...your reply was longer then the poem itself! well the first poem you hit the nail right onto its head...you truly amazed me with that on. the mongrel being both me and me watching me (weird i know)... {i went on to say many weird things in response to your reply...but when i read it over again, it made VERY little sense AND sounded as though i needed to be locked up in a nice white room with padded walls ...so ill write you an explaination if you want one}.you interpreted snippets of the poems the way in which i had, which was really pleasing, but what was pleasing further was that you interpreted the rest differently. you werent wrong, just different. thanks for the comprehensive reply...i appreciate it so much *hugs* michele- speechless is good *smiles* thanks for reading! Zombie |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
Cherish, goin by your critique message I soooo think you suck! Sorry, but just had to tell you that.  naww im jking you dont suck by a looong shot. as matter of fact, youre one of mah fav poets here in PIP. *Scuff* .. this poem(s) just blew me away. I havent read anything this talented and creative in a good minute. SO I thank ya for givin mah brain a chance to think! The series of poems, while being a poem in themselves, in my head they just clicked all together and created this wonderful vision. *ends her babbling* I absolutely :loved: this. Can't tell you how much.  Very creative of you, and again something that really shows your talent through and through. Excellent write hun and I can't wait for your next. Oh, and sorry for missing this the first time around.My fav poem: (v) “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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Demonic Illusion Member
since 2002-02-07
Posts 50 |
dude....you suck i was gonna do a double take =oÞ naw that was sweet Demonic Illusions, Frostic Dragons, Bloody Tears From Me To You....all surround by a force of Untouchable Darkness |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
This with...various combinations into one wonderful/seprate piece[s]. “I see Love in thy eyes Open your heart so that I may Drink and dance ‘round Flowing fountains therein” Beautiful. ^_^ You speak of love here. I enjoyed this throughout GREATLY, cherish. "Dont piss me off, Im runing out of places to hide the bodies." |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Oh wow Cherish! I love your work so much. You are so incredibly talented. This one just blew me away. Wow. I dont' know what to say... I am a rabid horse. |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
(i) Reflections of her ghost Trapped within raindrops Brings tears to the mongrels Eyes I'm curious here.... I loved the first two lines especially... but who are the mongrels? (ii) Seek and ye shalt nought find What thou lustily covets For Hate’s dust doth render thee blind” Wow, the last line.... whoa. How hate doth blind... (iii) Puddles of yesterday’s cries Fill today’s canvas of thought Bringing with it the doubly folded mirrors Forged maliciously as her parents fought Again, the first two lines. The imagery there.... damn. It's so true, too! (iv) “I see Love in thy eyes Open your heart so that I may Drink and dance ‘round Flowing fountains therein” Who is "I"? (v) Touch the looking glass Feel its cold Steal the bloodied warmth From your finger Tips Stare into its icy being Your opposite soul Your opposite soul Your opposite being Bending composite pieces of you Watch it shatter Capturing bro ken pieces of you Interesting. The breaking up of the lines causes one to slow down... The cold sucking the warmth from yor fingertips... powerful. Why must the looking glass shatter? Are were merely shattering it so as to not see the real us? (vi) “Kinsfolk! Keep kind hearts close To thy own And let not the eyes of Anger Befall upon them” Hmm. I like this, in an odd way. It stands out a bit from the rest for some reason. It's message is good... it sounds as if by a preacher. (vii) Curse the reflection Of her hollow eyes Each bearing witness to the Decay of her soul’s cold corpse. Damn. The pictures you paint put me to shame.... you are so talented! The eyes truely are the mirror into the soul. This last line seems so sad, devoid of emotion, so... having given up.  Cher... I love it.  ~ Titus My motto... always changing, always improving, living life in veiw of eternity. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
tiffers-  ...im glad you think i suck *does a dance*...finally someone who agrees with me! im flattered by all your compliments girly...thank you so much for them...and thanks for reading and taking an intrest...and dun worry about not seeing it the first time round ^_^kyles- hehehe...glad you thought so! alberta- *jumps you with a big hug*....*ahem* i did mention the 'L' word didnt i?..i must make sure im not so liberal with it next time 'round thanks for reading sweets..i miss you!rhonnie- oh dont blow away! *shackels you to something solid*...glad you enjoyed the read ...oh and stop making me blush!danniti- woooooah..another longer-then-the-poem-itself reply! ok well here are the answers to the little queries: who's the mongrel? well i should have put an apostrophe in there someplace. the mongrel is *ahem* me. its sadness at the reflection of me. looking into myself is, at times, depressing. who is 'i'?  well if i told you that i'd have to kill you. i is a very good friend of mine, and lets just leave it at that shall we?" Why must the looking glass shatter? Are were merely shattering it so as to not see the real us?" youve amazed me with this...but yes, sometimes the hardest thing a person can do is to look into themselves and see wrong/darkness/hate/dispair. we're made up by so many different pieces both good and bad...but when youre made to confront them all at the same time and being overwhelmed by what you see there yes, the mirror does shatter from the tension. it shatters cuz we cant take it anymore, it shatters cuz there is a need for change, it shatters cuz what it sees scares the hell out of the person looking into it. but when it does shatter, the looker comes to the realisation that they are no longer whole...(ok im going off again as i did with lizzy...but i think ill let this stay) im glad you found who the other voice belonged to. its meant to be the superego preaching to the self. the messages are meant to be good...theyre meant to help the self upon reflection..but often the self doesnt listen to the superego...gosh i feel screwed up... thank you for taking the time out to do this danniti...i REALLY REALLY appreciate it. and you dont have to be put to shame with anything...after all, theyre only words on a screen a lot of what i do write about is based around how i feel when my family are at each others throats...so i dont think youd want to aspire to any level i may be on. again, thank you heaps for the time and effort it took for the reply :-DMy england is goodly- are you strudable? [This message has been edited by cherish (03-21-2002 01:07 AM).] |
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Dunphy Member
since 2002-03-14
Posts 82Massachusetts USA |
hey i like this poem it greate. you are one heck of a good writter. i hope you post some more on. i tihnk your work is much better then mine deffinetley. keep up the good work and come up with more poems for us all to read and comment. love ya  love kevin reid aka dunphy 18 m mass marlboroman52483@yahoo.com |
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Starr Member
since 2001-02-08
Posts 100 |
Great poems...love them all... Every action of our lives touches some chord that will vibrate in eternity. |
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