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xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

0 posted 2002-03-11 12:12 PM

The walls are closing in,
Faster than i can comprehend.
Sometimes i feel as though,
I am my only friend.
Wish i can close my eyes,
Wash the reality away with my dreams.
Wish life wasnt so...
So horrible as it seems.
When life isnt on your side,
And fate is waiting for you around the corner.
Who are you suppose to be?
The optimistic or the mourner?
All i crave is to run,
I want to see the lights fly by like streaks.
But my only option is to stay,
Feeling oh so vulnerable and weak.
The walls are closing in,
Faster than i can comprehend.
Finding comfort in the thought,
That each second gone by brings me closer to the end.

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2002-03-11 12:26 PM

very dark poem....I liked it all except maybe the end was too dark for me, but it goes well within the poem

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

2 posted 2002-03-11 12:38 PM

Oooo very dark, Michele.

I can relate to a lot of what you've written in here. The message is chilling but it keeps us going in a sense. You've expressed yourself well and painted a really haunting scene.

The walls are closing in,
Faster than i can comprehend.
Finding comfort in the thought,
That each second gone by brings me closer to the end.
I love those lines. They run together so well. That final line is extremely comforting and so very true.

Thank you for sharing this. Much enjoyed.

~AF~

"Sometimes the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy." - Susanna Kaysen

lone_poet707
Member

since 2001-11-17

Posts 70
black hole named Aylmer

3 posted 2002-03-11 10:54 AM

ooh....deep and dark, just the way i like them. This piece is so amazing, i hafta add it to the library!
-Joe

Ses
Junior Member

since 2001-03-16

Posts 14
The Mountain State

4 posted 2002-03-11 11:06 AM

Hey - its me, Tamma. Anyway, I know exactly what you are describing in this poem. Sometymes, I've had this exact same feeling, take it from someone with "experience", it will get better, I promise.

~Tamma "Ses"

Demonic Illusion
Member

since 2002-02-07

Posts 50

5 posted 2002-03-11 12:36 PM

im gonna be the one to not say ive been there cuz everyone has at some point in their life....great poem really enjoyed it

Demonic Illusions, Frostic Dragons, Bloody Tears From Me To You....all surround by a force of Untouchable Darkness

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

6 posted 2002-03-11 08:27 PM

I agree w/ Lizzy, those are my fave lines in this.
Great write!

LCBS
Senior Member

since 2001-11-29

Posts 532
Connecticut

7 posted 2002-03-11 08:34 PM

This was really good...it showed your emotion well...Great Write!

~Lisa

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

8 posted 2002-03-12 06:11 PM

This one was awesome. I really connected with this one.I don't know what else to say... Guess it was that good
Jon

"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur
"Sometimes it takes a painful loss to realize you are free"- Bouncing Souls

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

9 posted 2002-03-12 06:16 PM

Can't believe I missed this one! Wow! Excellent write! I don't know what else to say... *hugs*

I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming, terrified, like his passengers.

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

10 posted 2002-03-13 04:35 AM

"Sometimes i feel as though,
I am my only friend"
awwwwww *hugs* you know we're here for you sweetie..

life's tough, but you know youve got steel-capped boots to kick it in its arse when it treats you like crap michele!...gof or it girly...and know that youre welcome to email me anytime ok? nicely written, VERY powerful indeedy

Zombie

Torn are her limbs
By quiet hands that
Tug life(color) out of her.
Gnawing edges round
Into a broken(satisfying)
Shadow

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

11 posted 2002-03-13 09:51 AM

Great work I really enjoyed the read and thank you for sharing it with us

Andrew

"The pin didn't drop it came and crashed down"

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

12 posted 2002-03-18 10:41 PM

"Wish life wasnt so...
So horrible as it seems." *sigh* I can relate.

"But my only option is to stay," that seems to be MY option, also.

"The walls are closing in,
Faster than i can comprehend.
Finding comfort in the thought,
That each second gone by brings me closer to the end."

Its powerful and melancholy yet dark. *hugs* hope all is well.

"Dont piss me off, Im runing out of places to hide the bodies."

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (03-18-2002 10:42 PM).]

ShortSexyAngelOnEarth
Junior Member

since 2001-12-24

Posts 36
im a louisiana cajun princess! lol

13 posted 2002-03-19 01:49 AM

hey good job, very dark, i like it

Kielo
Senior Member

since 2002-02-11

Posts 1109

14 posted 2002-03-20 12:59 PM

Wow...

lol... everyone writes better than me...

Seriously though, you wrote this beautifully, and my personal inclination toward darker poetry enhanced the beauty of it in my mind. Very awesome. (Is that proper grammar? Ah... who cares...)

Never argue with a fool. He may be doing the same thing.

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

15 posted 2002-03-20 07:31 AM

Wow...thank you all so much for replying and taking the time to read it

I appreciate it a lot

Thanks!!!!!

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

16 posted 2002-03-20 08:46 PM

wow, i REALLY liked this one, its got a place in my library. lol. this was a dark poem yes, but still awesum none the less. great write.

~If u luv something, let it go,if it comes back 2 u, its urs, if it doesnt, it never wuz..~DMX

inspiredpoetwriter
Member

since 2002-01-05

Posts 104
Minnesota

17 posted 2002-03-20 10:35 PM

Hey :) Really good poem very dark like everyone has says tho it'z really great keep it up!

:) ;) Smile

¥¤¥¤¥¥¤¥¤¥iM a PoEt WhO wRiTeZ Wit HeR Heart ¥¤¥¤¥¥¤¥¤¥

Starr
Member

since 2001-02-08

Posts 100

18 posted 2002-03-21 08:48 AM

Beautifully written

I do think this was dark but I think it shows a side of life not many like to see.. Reality is something that needs to be seen at times. Love this one

Every action of our lives touches some chord that will vibrate in eternity.

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