navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Through Everything
Teen Poetry #5
Post A Reply Post New Topic Through Everything Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
See me?
Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 93
UK

0 posted 2002-03-10 12:30 PM



Why can’t we be friends?
You say we are but that’s where it ends
You said “I hope we’re friends through think and thin,
There’s lots to come and there’s lots that’s been”
But now it seems you’ve changed your view
And all I want is to be friends with you
I no I’m not innocent in all of this
But the chats we had I really miss
I miss your friendship very much
But it seems I’m talking double Dutch
I don't know what to do when you’re being really cold
I don’t know you anymore there’s nothing I’ve been told
If you don’t want to be my mate
Just tell me and in my diary I’ll record the date
But please can we forget all of this trouble
And make the friendship we had triple and double.

Life is about change,sometimes its painful,sometimes its beautiful,sometimes its both.

© Copyright 2002 Clare Griffiths - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2002-03-10 04:56 PM


awww....I really hope things work out for you and your friend
Lennon2002
Junior Member
since 2002-01-10
Posts 31
The wV
2 posted 2002-03-10 05:43 PM


um...... hmmmm....... yeah, i'll reply.I mean why not?

I'm ready for death because I don't believe in it- John Lennon

Words_of_Glitter
Member
since 2000-10-25
Posts 90
USA
3 posted 2002-03-10 06:25 PM


I liked your poem, but i thought you tried too hard to rhyme. You really shouldn't worry so much about rhyming or rhyming perfectly. Because then it ends up not making sense...like the double dutch thing? Talking...and jumproping just don't go together too well... maybe you could say...(nonsense and such) or something like that? I am not sure. Just trying to help out. And then at the end...the triple and double. There really ARE other words that rhyme...

"Time really does fly by and no one knows where it goes, so if you have something to say or do, say or do it now."

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
4 posted 2002-03-10 11:15 PM


Aww hun, i really hope that your friendship ends up working out alright. I hate being in these situations where i feel like im doing all the working aspects in the friendship and they dont seem to care enough to even carry on a convo w/me..its not that great of a feeling thats for shur. Hope everything works out for the best!

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Through Everything

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary