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Teen Poetry #5
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hopeful
Junior Member
since 2000-04-19
Posts 27


0 posted 2002-02-26 12:02 PM


you went
away

I thought to
stay

memories have
faded

hearts almost
healed

back you've
come

bringing memories
with you

now confused
again

needing some
answers

only getting
silence

can't believe what's
happening

thought it had
ended

only now
beginning

"Be careful who you fall for there never who you think they are"

If you have any suggestions on how to make my peom better it is very welcomed.

© Copyright 2002 hopeful - All Rights Reserved
LCBS
Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532
Connecticut
1 posted 2002-02-26 02:56 PM


ummm no good ideas about a title....maybe "new begining, same old story,"  But great post...

~LCBS

Exeryone makes mistake, learn from them and move on, because tomorrow we'll make more...

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
2 posted 2002-02-26 03:26 PM


Ohh, I like this..the format adds to the punch of the words. What about something like Memories? Sometimes taking one simple word from the text works... But you're the artist!
  ~Carly

"Hey! The oven's on!"
"Kari! The oven's on!"
"I know, Jim!  I'm baking something!"

[This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (02-26-2002 03:26 PM).]

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
3 posted 2002-02-28 04:28 AM


hows about "again"? i liked the poem, the format was original and suited the content very well...good job

Zombie

Torn are her limbs
By quiet hands that
Tug life(color) out of her.
Gnawing edges round
Into a broken(satisfying)
Shadow

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