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Teen Poetry #5

Lost inside my head

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2002-02-24 01:53 PM

You make my hands tremble
my voice shakes when I talk to you
I pull the covers over my head
and in the backround you strum on your guitar.

You make me wonder about you
weither this is true or not
weither you're true or not
as you sit there and listen and strum on your guitar.

All the things I want to say to you
are lost when you're right next to me
all the things I have to tell you
are lost inside my mind,
lost inside my head.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

1 posted 2002-02-25 09:38 AM

you are growing and growing with your poetry Allysa
That is one thing I've noticed recently
I thought the poem may use another stanza
But all in all, I loved it
ps. Hope its not Nitsuj

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

2 posted 2002-02-25 10:06 AM

You expressed your feelings very well Allysa...nicely done

Keep up the good work!

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

3 posted 2002-02-26 10:37 PM

No, this is about Mike, not Justin.
Mike is the guy I've mentioned before. (Saturday stuff)

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

4 posted 2002-02-28 05:01 AM

Nitsuj ...LOL! ...very well done allysa...i liked this one...'specially the strumming part

Zombie

Torn are her limbs
By quiet hands that
Tug life(color) out of her.
Gnawing edges round
Into a broken(satisfying)
Shadow

Jenabou
Member

since 2000-06-13

Posts 215
Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/USA

5 posted 2002-02-28 07:10 PM

This was absolutly wonderful
I too have been in a situation much like this.
Very well done

*for someone who's used to heartache,losing it all was just a matter of time*
Be kind,for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle

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