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| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Temporarily Uncensored |
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
(I'm sorry this is so long - it's just me trying to get a lot of things off my mind) Why do I censor myself to make you more comfortable? Why do I compromise my feelings to make you happy? Why can't I say what's being screamed inside my head? Why can't you just read my mind? If only you could read my mind... There's something there that you should know, and I'm feeling temporarily uncensored. So... Goodbye, Little Innocent. Time has a way of changing sweet to bitter, and the phony you've become overshadows the memories of the girl I used to know. Your hypocracy is pathetic, and my ears are numb to your dillusional stories of the material world. I don't want to hear it, because I don't want to hate you. I just want to let you go and hold on to the thoughts of you that still make me smile before they become too few and far between to matter. I've reached the point where I'm over the anger, and all I can do is appreciate the time we had for what it truly was, which was beautiful. Just know that I will think of you often and miss you always. Thank God for you, my Soul Mate. You're the one thing in this world I know for sure will never fade, and you're my only living proof I must be doing something right. I wouldn't trade what we share for all the stars in the sky, for even stars can fall. But you are the only thing I never have to check up on just to make sure it's still there. You inspire me with your selflessness, and I wish I had your confidence. Your faith in me leaves me breathless, and your way with words leaves me speechless. You tell me what I need to know, not simply what I want to hear. And my only fear is that I haven't given back to you half of what you've given to me. You are my constant, my sanctuary, my breath of air. You are an amazing person. Don't ever doubt or forget that. Hold on a minute, Love. I'm too curious to stay clung to your side but too terrified to let go of the only thing I've loved so far. So let me be selfish for once and ask you to just hang while I make up my mind. Right now I want everything my way: I want you and I want anyone but you. I want things to stay the same, but something has to change soon. I want what we have and I want the freedom to look for something else. I'm waiting for a third option to present itself because I don't want to have to choose between the two extremes of either cutting you loose or staying tied down. I'd rather just loosen the knots. I'm staring at black and white, and I'm waiting for shades of gray. It's asking too much, but I'm asking anyway. Just hang on a little longer... That's not all there is to know There's so much more I wish that I could say But it doesn't matter Because my 15 minutes are up And I'll never let you read this anyway. The day you were born, you were born free That is your privilege. [This message has been edited by Kandi (02-20-2002 09:02 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Kristin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
I liked this, it said alot. Some parts I connected with, some I didn't. You say you love the person, but you want something new (Someone new). I have had and am still having this problem. I don't understand how you can love a person but want to let them go.Love is constant, eternal, in my opinion. You either love someone forever or it isn't love. That's just my opinion. It is still a really good poem nonetheless, just hit a sore spot with me I guess. Jon "Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur "Sometimes it takes a painful loss to realize you are free"- Bouncing Souls [This message has been edited by keoni (02-20-2002 08:58 PM).] |
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
Thanks for your honesty...I totally respect your opinion and I see where you're coming from. Yes I love the person. We've been together for almost a year, and could potentially be together for a very long time. But I'm only 17 years old and I'm getting involved in a lot of things and meeting new people and the thought of never dating anyone else in the one short year i have left of high school is starting to terrify me. So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I hope everyone doesn't think I'm the most incredibly selfish person in the world cuz that's how I feel right now. I'm just writing out my feelings and trying to figure things out for myself. That's all... Bye  The day you were born, you were born free |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Kandi~ Seems like you are stuck...You have been with this guy for a year and you love him but you dont want to be with him...Girl you are still young you should go out and explore there is so much more out there then just one guy...I did that with one guy for almost 2 years and now im so stuck in the past that I dont want to look into the future to see whats out there for me...Just cause I cant get over what happened between us...My first true love...I dont think you are selfish you just want to see what else is out there for you... Good poem!!! Im glad to see that you are back here (i havent seen work from you in awhile) And I hope to see more soon!!!  ~ShAtTeReD mEmOrIeS, |
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DawnG 
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
Kandi, You have expressed your feelings well here. Good poem. Dawn |
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BrokenAngel Member
since 2002-01-06
Posts 141Puryear, TN, USA |
Wow. I can't say much more than that. I've been in the same posotion as you are so I know how you feel. Wonderful poem. Really said allot. Maybe you should let her read it. ---Night Angel |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Pretty powerful. I really liked this one. It impressed me, to be honest. I really think you expressed yourself beautifully. Beautifully in the sense that you worked through this poem in a wonderul way. From talking about your current relationship, to the possible one, and further onto the fact that you need time to decide between the black and white while it meshes into the color gray for you to be happy. I think the poem was written well, but some of the ideas behind this bothered me a bit. I understand that not everything can be peachy keen in a relationship, but I should say that if it's going badly enough for you to consider about going off with your "soul mate" as you so titled him, then maybe you should just leave the current relationship regardless. Maybe you're just afraid of having nothing. Not having your current, and not having your "soul mate". Another aspect of the shade of gray could be being alone. I should say that could be a healthy way, if not in the bliss of your "soul mate's" arms. Again, these are just some opinions...some about the poem and some as just advice or some sort of insight. Anyhow, a poem well done.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
wow...you guys thank you so much...the support is MUCH appreciated. As far as the Soul Mate verse, that was actually written about not one but a couple of people who have proven to be my truest friends and who I love so much. I dont think a soul mate has to be a romantic relationship...I consider soul mates people who you know were meant to come into your life and who touch you on a level so deep you can't describe it. Interesting thoughts tho there dopey, and thanks for your advice. I'm really glad you liked it cuz you are an amazing writer yourself Thanks for reading guys, it mean alot ~K~ The day you were born, you were born free |
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