best friend what i would do for you?

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sleepymoongirl
Member

since 2001-04-19

Posts 157
bc canada

0 posted 2002-02-18 11:05 PM

so insecure
you expect me to be strong for you
you weren't there for me
my problems were to much for you
you will never know how much that hurt me
that you turned me away when i most needed you
you may feel bad i may tell you its ok
it is ok but it hurts so much
kind of like i wasn't worth the trouble
but nothing will ever take that feeling away
the feeling of uter most rejection
the feeling that your best friend
your *best friend* can't handle your problems
now you want me there for you
you never get how much you hurt me
how very fragile i am
the fear that it could happen again

you never get how much i want to be there for you
how much you mean to me
how when you actually listen to me
how much it means
don't know what i have even done to deserve
you locking me out
i see your pain and it hurts me
i want to wipe it away
wipe away the pain for you
which no one helped me with not even you
not wanting you to feel the lost lonely feeling
the feeling i felt
knowing it could help us both
grow a stronger bond

like i still feel
the feeling that i wonder
if it will ever stop haunting me
trying to be the friend that i have never had
the friend i will never find
for who would care about me

i almost walked away
feeling i had nothing left to offer
nothing you could possible want
i never seemed to be good enough for you
you told me today
that you loved me more then i would ever know
that you would never pick another friend above me
that having me in her life ment more to her
then i ever did know
how happy it made me to know my efforts
were worth while
not totally wasted
i actually did mean something to her

i had been so close to walking away
how hard it had been
to think i had failed yet again
how close i had held her to my heart
she understood very well what i have gone through
we seemed to be a perfect fit
my self esteem almost took away
the friendship that has ment by far the most to me
it was tearing me up inside
the thought that her life might be better off
without me
that the people we hang out with
could have done a better job then me
not a single person in the world
would i put myself through this pain for
not another person i feel is worth it

all this pain i've been through
all these tears
will hopefully only make us stronger
can't believe
i could ever be lucky enough to have a friend like you
the love i have for you is uncoditional
i will love you no matter what
makes it harder through the rough moments
but i know that your worth it

gracianna
Member

since 2002-02-17

Posts 165
A 14 year hell

1 posted 2002-02-19 01:27 AM

This is really nice...obviously you care for this person a lot. Do they realize this at all?

I give a whole new meaning to the word 'sad.'

chas
Member

since 2001-04-08

Posts 101
Lynn, ma

2 posted 2002-02-20 10:00 PM

wow.. one of the many poems that i am gald to have took the time to read..i thank you for that..

chas
Member

since 2001-04-08

Posts 101
Lynn, ma

3 posted 2002-02-20 10:00 PM

incase i wasn't clear before.. excellent poem..

Kandi
Member

since 2000-06-14

Posts 354
North of Hell

4 posted 2002-02-20 10:08 PM

I really hope you let your friend read this...maybe she'll realize exactly how much you love her. Amazing job - don't give up on writing, or on your friend.
((hugs))

The day you were born, you were born free
That is your privilege.

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

5 posted 2002-02-27 02:23 PM

wow scarlet this was just... great. very heart wrenching. all your feelings shine through with this. you did very well and im glad i caught it. miss you hun and hope everything is going well for you. im glad it worked out with this friend hun. best wishes always. *hugs*
..tiff..

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

I know Im not perfect but I can smile
& I hope that you c this heart behind my tired eyes

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

6 posted 2002-02-28 05:24 AM

like tiffers said...very heart wrenching...could tell that you wrote it with your whole heart...maybe you should show this to your friend...you wrote it and expressed yourself very well

Zombie

Torn are her limbs
By quiet hands that
Tug life(color) out of her.
Gnawing edges round
Into a broken(satisfying)
Shadow

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