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Teen Poetry #5

Masquerade

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

0 posted 2002-02-18 07:09 PM

What drains this sweet nectar
Of misery from my eyes
When it's you I see
Across the room
Shrouded by mysteries disguise
How is it that
I can feel your stare
Through this maddening labrynthe
Of cloaked men and adorning women
The swirl of music
Flirting with my burning heart
How is it possible
That destiny poisoned me with it's kiss
Within an atmosphere like this
A colourful masquerade

babygurl *
Junior Member

since 2001-12-07

Posts 30

1 posted 2002-02-18 07:45 PM

very good... i like the word masquerade...

gracianna
Member

since 2002-02-17

Posts 165
A 14 year hell

2 posted 2002-02-19 01:28 AM

I like this...great word choices

I give a whole new meaning to the word 'sad.'

chas
Member

since 2001-04-08

Posts 101
Lynn, ma

3 posted 2002-02-20 10:06 PM

amazing work.. flow was nice. sweet that you made the last word the tittle..

Kandi
Member

since 2000-06-14

Posts 354
North of Hell

4 posted 2002-02-20 10:18 PM

Lol to your critique message...no you do not suck
I liked this a lot...good word usage, lots of imagery and emotion. Hats off to you

The day you were born, you were born free
That is your privilege.

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