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Teen Poetry #5
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ScrpyCJ
New Member
since 2002-06-24
Posts 9


0 posted 2002-06-27 02:19 PM


The walls are closing in on me,
My life is slipping away,
My love wasn't truly my love,
She slowly turned away,
She coaxed me into her trap,
I shared my love with her,
We talked and shared some moments together,
She really didn't love me,
I know for this is not my love,
Because she lied to me,
She doesn't know one single thing,
that puts me piece by piece,
She used me like I was a rock,
I didn't see it,
Not even a bit,
Its because I loved her
And she didn't love me back,
Get out of my life,
Stay away from my heart,
You cheated your way through my heart,
For the last time.


© Copyright 2002 ScrpyCJ - All Rights Reserved
cutiepiesugarbabie
Member
since 2002-06-07
Posts 110
A Cloud In the Sky
1 posted 2002-06-27 05:41 PM


wow a lil harsh...but a good poem!

o*~Everyone makes mistakes-get over them and make more tomorrow!~*o

Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
2 posted 2002-06-29 12:26 PM



A very strong piece, very deep.  Well done.

Tomer

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258
meet Morgana
3 posted 2002-06-30 11:02 AM


It sounded a little shrill and teary, but still strong enough. Like you weren't just telling her that it wasn't real love and to stay away, but telling yourself as well. I think that's interesting because it shows the inner weaknesses and defences of our state of mentality. I think there's a lot to be said for a person that can stand up for themselves (especially when it comes to someone you had "love" for). Good job.

[Jaime]

"I think I would like to call myself 'the girl who wanted to be God'." Sylvia Plath

[This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (06-30-2002 11:02 AM).]

Tess7
New Member
since 2002-06-30
Posts 4

4 posted 2002-06-30 05:50 PM


I thought that was cool, realistic and that's why I liked it. Nice
punkrockerrobin
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
5 posted 2002-06-30 05:52 PM


wow! aweosme piece tks for the read!
robin

http://cgi6.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewSellersOtherItems&userid=hardcorerobin&include=0&since=-1&sort=3&rows=25

punkrockerrobin
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
6 posted 2002-07-03 04:37 AM


hey nice write thanks for sharin.

http://cgi6.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewSellersOtherItems&userid=hardcorerobin&include=0&since=-1&sort=3&rows=25

cutiepiesugarbabie
Member
since 2002-06-07
Posts 110
A Cloud In the Sky
7 posted 2002-07-20 06:54 PM


well...i'm guessing i kno who this is about and i'm sry for the way she acted



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