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Teen Poetry #5
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tzaddiqim
Junior Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 15


0 posted 2002-02-14 02:40 PM


Stop staring at me
With those long full eyes
Of happiness lost

I hate u
More than anybody I now
Then how do I love u so?
It hurts my soul

So long and so sort we lived as one
But now we are two
I am still a half
You hate me

I don't regret what we had
You gave me so much
And I gave to
It’s hard

Why does love hurt?
Why does it make me cry?
You hate me

I’m so lonely
No one likes me
I lived fro you
What should I live fro now

You made me happy


I know you don’t
But it feels that way
All the things we could have done
We said we'd do

All that I miss in you
All that I have left
Why now?
Why is it so hard not to love you?

I see you everywhere
Two became one and all that is mine was yours
All that I have reminds me of you
I can’t escape

Why do you hate me?
Why can’t we be together?
Is it so hard?
My soul hurts

My heart is dead
Or bleeding
So close
I feel cold

How I long for you warm embrace
To warm me
We went through so much
We had so much
You hate me


© Copyright 2002 tzaddiqim - All Rights Reserved
Deep_Inside
Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 377
i can't stop hiding
1 posted 2002-02-14 04:32 PM


the emotions of loseing a love it's hard i know when you find what you think is true love the feelings linger for years.  i really felt the hert in this one
Voiceless
Senior Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 686
Under the stars upon the wind
2 posted 2002-02-14 08:25 PM


Welcome!
It always hurts when
a connection of love
is broken and replaced by hate
you express your emotions well
and get the point accross with
your poem.
Keep it up!

Freedom is not Free (Korean War memorial)

-Queth-
Junior Member
since 2002-02-10
Posts 35
Canada
3 posted 2002-02-14 09:24 PM


-tzaddiqim-

This is one of the most bitter poems I've ever read, and I'm sorry you're feeling this way. It's never right for someone to hate, or to be hated, but we're only human, and so we should also forgive. Love hurts, I'm sure almost everyone will understand that, but hurting will heal.

This poem almost expresses the pure nature of hate, which was very strong here. You're hating, the other is hating, makes me wonder if two hates would cancel each other out? -smile- Don't mind me...

I thought the replacement of "you" for the letter "u" didn't give the second stanza enough.
{I hate u
More than anybody I now
Then how do I love u so?
It hurts my soul}- The "u" almost seems like you don't really mean it, yet for the other stanzas, you use the word "you" rather than "u". I was just wondering if this was intentional...-smile- Nothing big.

Other than that, big welcomes to PIP! -grin- I hope to see more from you later on!


Q.u.e.t.h.

Everything in between...

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
4 posted 2002-02-15 01:45 PM


This was such a strong piece....and of course...

WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!

I really enjoyed this a lot..im sorry to hear that you 2 are no longer together but i know what your talking about how you love someone no matter wat amount of pain they cause u...

P.S.- check ur e-mail for a special greeting

mE & cHrIsTiNe GaVe A WhOlE nEw mEaNiNg tO ThE wOrD "iNcOgNiTo"

tzaddiqim
Junior Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 15

5 posted 2002-02-15 05:57 PM


thanx everyone for the comments and the welcomes, sorry about the bad typing, but i wrote it quickly, hence the high emotions!

Brett,


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